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Sep 26, 2024
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Little Girl Eating Pink Ice Cream
She was sitting on
a bench
swinging her feet
tucked in
black patent leather
and when our eyes
met, she
grinned at me as if
she had
known me from
another time, another
place where
perhaps we had played
together
joyfully, as children tend to do.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
9 months 2 weeks ago
Dearest Lavender
What a tender poetry!
This was the first to read this morning and it fills my heart with joy. The way you captured the swinging of the little girl's legs is quite charming.
The whole piece has a nostalgic feeling.
I could easily relate to such emotional capture of the moment.
How sweet!
Lavender
9 months 1 week ago
Hello, Rula,
She was a darling little girl. Felt a lovely connection to her!
Thank you for reading!
Lx
Candlewitch
9 months 1 week ago
Dear Lavender,
Some kids are like that; they can look right inside of you and see the truth... excellent judges of charter, too. They seem to have an intuition about them! I really admire your poem, the whole poem!
*hugs, Cat xxx
Lavender
9 months 1 week ago
Hello, Cat,
She gave off such a sweet, happy energy. It was a real "treat" sharing a brief moment with her.
Thank you!
Lx
Geezer
9 months 1 week ago
Yes...
I have the same kind of connections with small children and dogs. I think that it is their innocence, that lets them do that.
This is one of those moments that stays with you. Nicely told moment. ~ Geez.
.
Lavender
9 months 1 week ago
Hello, Geezer,
Yes, this felt very innocent. She was adorable, and the moment was precious.
Thanks so much for reading!
L
captain 2
9 months 1 week ago
I love this!
I actually think that is the best poem I have read on this site! I would just ruin it if I tried to express why it's so good. It's just everything that life is -- to me, expressed so simply and perfectly.
Lavender
9 months 1 week ago
Hello, Captain,
I appreciate your very kind and generous comment. The exchange was so endearing, given how brief.
Thank you!
L
captain 2
9 months 1 week ago
I figured out why I like this so much
lavender, your poem reminds me of this, my favorite poem of all time
The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
Lavender
9 months 1 week ago
Hello, Captain,
Thank you for another generous comment! This poem by William Carlos Williams is used in many poetry and creative writing courses and conversations as an example of "show and not tell." As you know, it's known for many things, including its imagery and great appreciation for such simple observations of life. I'm so grateful if my little ditty reminded you of this - it was a tender snapshot of an innocent moment.
Thank you!
L