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Mar 08, 2012
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The Little Sparkle In Her Eye
The flickering light of fireflies
in the dark
are no match
for the sparkle
in her eyes
They are pools of water
of which I never
want to come out of
so cool and comforting
Two constellations in the sea
we call life
always calling and
leading me home
Beacons of light
in the darkest of times
leading me away from
the deadly rocks of disgust
keeping me in calmer seas
Finding I cannot
tear myself way from them
always dreaming of them
with a smile on my face
as I sleep
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
13 years 4 months ago
Mezmer Eyesing, and a good
Mezmer Eyesing, and a good write there young Benjamin, look forward to some more pieces, Yours Ian.T