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Mar 12, 2025
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live don't just exist
that extra cup of coffee in the morning then look out the window at the seagulls
how free their spirits are coffee cups of inspiration give your girlfriend a kiss or hold hands
while climbing a mountain more coffee as your spirit's soar looking at other mountain peaks
and the fertile valleys coffee sparks interesting conversations and religious spirits
tranquilizers for so called mental illness often dull the mind body and spirits
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem attempts to convey a contrast between active, inspired living and passive existence, using coffee as a recurring motif symbolizing energy and inspiration. However, the piece would benefit from clearer structure and punctuation. Currently, the absence of punctuation and line breaks makes the poem feel rushed and difficult to follow. Consider breaking the poem into shorter, more deliberate lines or stanzas to emphasize each image and idea clearly.
The repeated references to coffee as a metaphor for inspiration are interesting, but they become repetitive without deeper exploration or variation. It might be helpful to expand upon why coffee specifically symbolizes inspiration or freedom, or to introduce additional imagery or metaphors to enrich the poem's thematic depth.
The abrupt shift to "tranquilizers for so called mental illness" at the end introduces a significant thematic change without sufficient context or development. To make this transition effective, consider providing clearer connections or contrasts earlier in the poem. Additionally, the phrase "so called mental illness" could be reconsidered or clarified, as it risks trivializing or oversimplifying complex experiences.
Overall, the poem would benefit from clearer structure, more varied imagery, and careful handling of sensitive topics.
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