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Jun 18, 2020
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to live life
The lights of the seas the eyes to see what the mind believes the wonders of the unknown to grow up from a child to be grown, the world has shown from the rights to the wrongs, a sad song at the end of life as it expires, to admire life on earth for what life it's worth not to burn through fire to live with unfortunate desires the life of a lier the strong to become weak to seek a destiny in the eyes blindness with kindness from the heart for the world to start to change, for the soul to grow with love up and above for the calling of angels to come at life from all angles the danger of chaos to co-exist among us as strangers to a planet that's not ours, it belong to space just like Mars the living of life through the stars to beginning of life to go long and far, to look into the mirror to know who we are, only to live life in the mourning sun to find the moon one day to be born and one day to die can come soon, be happy in the moments with a component of joy life in the night for a light of joy not to be destroy by things to avoid be a good girl or good boy and do things right to live life.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: well i hope you like it
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
c lynn brooks
5 years ago
Ambrose
If you would please write this in stanzas to make it easier for the reader. As it stands your sentences run together will be watching and will comment then A warm welcome to Neo Poet
Gracy
5 years ago
Hi Ambrose, please put your
Hi Ambrose, please put your lines into poetry. I think it's lovely prose, so you could easily fix it. I don't think there's any forum for stories, not yet.
Welcome to Neopoet, everybody is fantastic here and will make constructive criticism. All the best, Gracy