Living With Depression (Updated)

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Living With Depression" demonstrates a strong use of metaphor and personification, which effectively conveys the speaker's emotional state. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further development.

1. The metaphor of sleep as "Death's gentle cousin" is a powerful image that sets the tone for the poem. However, the poem could benefit from further exploration of this metaphor. For instance, the poem could delve deeper into the relationship between sleep, death, and depression, which would add depth to the speaker's emotional landscape.

2. The use of personification in "Come dust my eye lids / With your feather-like kiss" is effective in conveying the speaker's longing for relief from their depression. However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery. For instance, what does the "feather-like kiss" feel like? Is it cold, warm, comforting, or something else? Concrete details can make the poem more vivid and engaging for the reader.

3. The poem's structure and rhythm could also benefit from further refinement. The poem currently consists of one stanza with six lines. While this structure works, the poem could potentially be more impactful if it were broken up into multiple stanzas. This could also allow for more variation in rhythm, which could enhance the poem's emotional resonance.

4. Lastly, the poem's theme of living with depression is a powerful one that many readers can relate to. However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of this theme. For instance, the poem could explore the speaker's daily experiences with depression, their coping mechanisms, or their hopes for the future. This could make the poem more relatable and impactful for readers who are dealing with similar experiences.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I like eveything about this one.
Not that being depressed is anything to be happy about,
but many of us went to great lengths and many words to express what we feel.
You, have gone straight to the core of one possessd by a true depression.
Simple, no big words and a great sense of mood.
Very nicely done, ~ Geez.
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What sir Gee said about this one.
I too am a fan of crisp succinct pieces of poetry.
Best wishes
Thank you for sharing.
Be well soon dear

Almost Shakespearean. Alex

did you do? I know that you did something to this, but not what. Whatever you did, it must have been the right thing, because I love it as much as I did the first time I saw it. ~ Geez.
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The state of mind depression puts us in...how we wish our lives away to the extent where we withdraw and sleep...sometimes permanently. Great job.

You have an amazing talent for bringing a big topic in pin-point focus. You captured the presence of depression so well, but you left me with a dilemma. It is perfect as is, yet I wanted it to keep going because I recognized the road you were traveling. I didn't want to leave your words.

Amazing piece as usual

Thank you for sharing

I've battled with the demon of depression all my life knowing I'm worthless and of no significance in this world only love and my poetry and connection with God is my saviour I love the world yet cannot love myself only in love of others those I know directly and utter strangers is my path to redemption and a deeper knowing of who I truly am