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Oct 20, 2022
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week Contest August 21st to August 27th 2022
Local Errand
The old man was standing
in the post office lobby, waving
to the security camera there
He appeared disheveled,
dirty clothes, and an unruly beard
that seemed to be assaulting his weathered face
A man with no home to call his own, I surmised
As he turned, I smiled and said,
"Everyone is watching these days."
With a look of disagreement, in a gravelly voice
he replied, "I don't know about that.
I was just trying to let people know I was here."
With no letter or package to be mailed,
and no other reason to be there apparent,
he simply walked out onto the street
talking with someone I could not see
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Odd where inspiration occurs sometimes. This happend during recent a trip to my local post office. I've heard the homeless often speak of being "invisible", and this encounter really drove the point home for me.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Lavender
2 years 8 months ago
Local Errand
Hello, Michael,
A definite poetry moment. Precious, in fact. Raw and real, but also compassionate and empathetic. The connection we have with one another, even for a moment, even when crossing paths at the local post office. Wonderful title - a local errand for you both.
Thank you,
L
Michael Anthony
2 years 8 months ago
Spot-on comments about
Spot-on comments about connections L, thank you! I had most of this written before I got home. Love when this happens.
Best
Geezer
2 years 8 months ago
A perfect example...
of the empathy that you show. Perhaps it serves as a double meaning, because he's homeless and how would one mail a letter to him, as he has no address? So, maybe it has a double meaning for him too. which is why he says, "I don't know about that" when you remark that, "Everyone is watching these days." Thought provoking to say the least. The pacing of this piece and the theme are of a like, a kind of leisurely, unhurried but quick interaction of two people meeting on an errand.
[His, to let the world know that he exists]. ~ Geezer.
.
Michael Anthony
2 years 8 months ago
Thank you Geez! Very
Thank you Geez! Very thoughtful comments too. I love how poetry can sometimes capture the briefest of moments between us and our environment.
Cheers