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Jan 05, 2024
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Long Live this Broken Heart of Mine
You've held me for so long,
I forgot how to stand.
You loved me for so long,
I forgot what loneliness felt like.
You were by my side for so long,
I forgot that I needed you.
...
You let me go
And I stumbled.
You told me you didn't love me
And I was crushed.
You left me alone
And I remembered I needed you.
...
Tear filled eyes
Shaking hands
Voice gone from screaming your name
Shattered is this bleeding heart...
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Another heartbreak for the books. Rip it apart.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 6 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
1 year 6 months ago
Dear Kristen,
This poem is very poignant, telling the story of a love grown cold. I remember when my first husband abandoned me and our son without any notice. your poem brings to mind all of the feelings that you have captured with your words. very well written!
I was hit hardest by these lines:
Tear filled eyes
Shaking hands
Voice gone from screaming your name
Shattered is this bleeding heart...
*hugs, Cat
Kristen H.
1 year 6 months ago
Thank you, Candlewitch!
I'm sorry you can relate to this poem... I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. I'm pleased to know you have found the love of your life since this tragedy. We all heal in different ways, but poetry is how I cope most of the time.
Candlewitch
1 year 6 months ago
Dear Kristen,
that is part of how I cope the other way is through music. Music is like magick. thank you for responding.
*hugs, Cat
Kristen H.
1 year 5 months ago
Music
is definitely one of the ways I cope as well. Somehow, it touches a part of my soul that words cannot.
Candlewitch
1 year 5 months ago
absolutely!
music and Neopoet! I do them together!
*hugs, Cat