Lost depths

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Lost Depths" presents a vivid and emotional exploration of the speaker's feelings towards another person, symbolized by the metaphor of the ocean. The repetition of the word "ocean" throughout the poem effectively reinforces this metaphor and the overwhelming nature of these feelings.

However, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary. The repeated use of the word "swim" and "ocean" may risk sounding redundant. Consider exploring synonyms or other metaphors to diversify your language and add depth to your imagery.

The final line introduces a new element, "angelic hue", which seems to symbolize a specific aspect or quality of the person the speaker is drawn to. This is a compelling addition, but it might be more impactful if it is developed further in the poem. Providing more context or details about this "angelic hue" could help to deepen the reader's understanding of the speaker's attraction and emotional journey.

Finally, the poem's structure is relatively straightforward, with a consistent rhythm and no apparent use of enjambment or other poetic devices. Experimenting with these elements could add another layer of complexity to the poem and enhance its overall impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

...I don't usually comment on free verse pieces, but I find the repeated use of "ocean" detracting to the sentiment. If you can find a workaround, I think it would read better. I would also drop the word "for" in the last line. I like the use of "hue" especially.

Good luck
Thomas

I'm a fan of short crisp poetry, but you have to be careful with words you choose. I think sir Thomas gave a very good feedback here.
Looking forward to seeing your edits
Thank you for sharing dear

I did enjoy your poem. I liked the theme of water you used but like Thomas I found ocean a little repetitive. But an excellent draft. Ruby :) xx

I agree with the others. You have been given some excellent advice. I would love to see the results of your rewrite. good luck!

*hugs, Cat

Well done!
P.S. "Aegean" a tiny typo.