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Sep 01, 2024
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Lost at sea
Rolling waves of salt white throth spluttering
from the mouth of the ocean mirror, hooded magic cape
hiding distant treasures, Pantagrams of fastened
silver into the black sky roof like spilled coins
Glimmering like lost beacons trying
to guide lost ships looking for drowned
Wooden cousins
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Rough
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
10 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The imagery in your poem is vivid and evocative, creating a sense of mystery and adventure. The use of metaphors like "hooded magic cape" and "Pantagrams of fastened silver" adds depth to the description of the sea. However, there are some areas where the poem could be strengthened. Consider refining the structure and flow of the poem to enhance the overall impact. Additionally, providing more clarity in the transition between different images and ideas could help the reader better follow the narrative. Keep exploring and refining your poetic voice to further develop the emotional resonance of your work.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Triskelion
10 months ago
Good to see...
...you again. Nautical themes really put the wind in my sails. Haha. Would be great to read some more! Your description of the starry sky is pretty cool.
Thomas
Jokerface82
10 months ago
Thank you
Thank you brother