Breakinglogic

Apr 24, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Lotus

She was a sequoia seed
Planted in a pot and
Fed rose rations

After all
Who doesn't like flowers?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Title is a play on the metaphor, referencing the practice of foot binding (lotus feet)

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: California, USA

Comments

emeka ozurumba

11 years 2 months ago

perhaps in the garden, she

perhaps in the garden, she hopes someday transplanted,
among her peer
and fair, who floral rush
solitary her pot

Breakinglogic

4 years 11 months ago

Emeka,

Emeka,
I think very much that was her desire, to be realized rather than trivialized or diminutized
Thank you for your thoughts:)

Eduardo Cruz

11 years 2 months ago

Interesting to look at a geisha in that way. The practice of foot binding was mostly done to geisha to keep their feet small and beautiful looking. Who wants a partner with big ugly looking feet. There is something very sensual about massage a woman's feet. To think of them as a flower is a beautiful thought.
I like this a lot, because it made for beautiful imagines in my head. I also like the way it is written short and to the point. as metaphors go, this is a well though out one that lead to contemplation.
The final thought is excellent as a good question,
"Who doesn't like flowers?
Bravo!

Eddie

Breakinglogic

4 years 11 months ago

Eddie,

Eddie,
Thank you for the read and I appreciate that you took some time to think on it.
I am worried, though, that my message has been confounded in your interpretation, as I've intended this as a criticism of the practice

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Logic

Sweet little piece of writing.
You say it is about foot binding.
I met a lovely lady one day at school I am not sure how old I was but it would have been in the 1950's she was my hero,
Her name was Gladys Aylward, they made a film about her life called "The Inn of The Sixth Happiness", she was a little Woman that could move mountains Bless Her, a place in my better memories.
Take care out there Yours Ian.T

Breakinglogic

4 years 11 months ago

Ian,

Ian,
Since your mentioning of her, I've read about Aylward. I'm awed by her story and happy that you've made this connection for me! thank you

IRiz

6 years 10 months ago

Confusing combination of

Confusing combination of three different plants.
I am not sure what you are saying in this poem.

Breakinglogic

6 years 10 months ago

Right, I didn't include any

Right, I didn't include any context.
In short: I wrote this reflecting on the practice of foot binding (also known as lotus feet) whereby, between the Song Dynasty and the until the early 20th century in China, some young girls feet were bound tightly to prevent proper development. This was traditionally seen as beautiful and as a symbol of status.
In the write I am comparing a young girl full of potential to that of a Sequoia seed. But she is not allowed to grow strong and proud. Instead it is decided for her to stay small and docile, and to be tended to like a rose.
Thank you for the read!

IRiz

6 years 10 months ago

It is a splendid explanation

It is a splendid explanation and the topic is in fact much deeper. In many societies across the globe and time development of individuals is suppressed by social norms. Women suffer the most.
So in your poem you could mentioned bound feet, it will be a symbol to envoke the thoughts about suppression, unfairness on one hand and fragile beauty of youth on the other hand.

Breakinglogic

6 years 10 months ago

Thank you for the re-read and

Thank you for the re-read and the suggestion. I definitely could have taken this a bit further. For now, at least, I think I will keep it small and beautiful.

Candlewitch

4 years 10 months ago

I read this as a tragic and

I read this as a tragic and barbaric costume that plays to mens pleasure and egos. you capture it with grace. thanks for this!

*hugs, Cat
-

Breakinglogic

4 years 9 months ago

Hi Cat,

Hi Cat,
Your reading is the in tune with what I was trying to intimate. Thank you for the read and nice comment:)

Pataphysique.C

4 years 8 months ago

This

has a Keatsian imagistic charge to it you don't see in most poems. You can sense, intimate the charge between the stanza break you've got. Good poem.

John Thomas Allen

Breakinglogic

4 years 4 months ago

I am very honored by your

I am very honored by your comparison. Thank you for finding such merit in this little poem