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Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
Mar 25, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

"Love is gentle Lust is wild" Revised for a Song

Love is the gentle, soothing, refreshing, breeze
On a warm summer night
On the back porch of my little country home
Watching the gibbous moon slowly glide across the dark sky

Lust is the whirlwind on a dusty afternoon
As the rain clouds and thunder storms start to form
Behind the large, orange, glowing, sunset
Chasing little girls and boys inside from their play

Love is the tender waves lapping at the shorelines
On a cool summertime beach
On the steps of my seasonal beach house
Watching the stars meet the ocean

Lust is the title waves bursting at the seashores
As the hurricane approaches land
Spinning tornadoes here and there
Sending children running for cover in the halls of their school

Love is
Lust gets it done

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thanks to Mand. you inspire this write 3:21 in h morning. couldn't sleep till I write.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

14 years 3 months ago

Oh my word!

Here you really get it done! So much better than in "Nature of Love at Sunset", you see how you have incorporated your metaphor with your meaning so much more seamlessly?

And those last two lines? Bloody brilliant! I can't believe I've never heard or read them before.

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

14 years 3 months ago

thanks Jess

I really appreciate hearing that. I like how you said "Incorporated methaphor with meaning" I really don't know how I did that, but glad I did. I was having fun adding more to the beautiful comparison Mand made to love and Lust.
Well I think I'll keep both poems "Nature of Love at Sunset" and then this one for you. Glad you like it

cheers
(:hugs)

R

raj

14 years 3 months ago

Dear Barbara

I liked these comparisons too or metaphors or similes...they bring out the moods of love and lust very well done...

come to think of it..there could be so many more comparisons..

love is like the rich aroma of coffee
wafting from a cup
hitting the nostrils
lust is like the bubbly fizz
at the pop of the cap
tingling the tongue

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

14 years 3 months ago

Hey all

I just finish revising this poem to a song with music. Onced I record it, I will let you know where you can here it.

weirdelf

weirdelf

14 years 3 months ago

cool! I look forward to it

Did you post any spoken word before the crash?

If you want to now just upload it to Youtube and post the link at the end of your poem.

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

14 years 3 months ago

Cool Thanks

I didn't do any spoken word. I was considering it before the crash. Thanks again, I will upload to YouTube onced I get the lyrics and words recorded.

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks Marie

I didn't realize what style I was writing.
glad you liked and happy you read and commented.
I never heard of this word before now. Thanks for sharing the link with me.

R

raj

14 years 2 months ago

Hi Barbara....

i didn't know you are a song writer too....do let me know when your song is ready and how i will be able to listen to it...

R

raj

14 years 2 months ago

Hi again Barbara

wishing you lots of inspiration to write more songs...