Love for the Green Witch...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem employs personification to explore a long-term relationship with "Maryjane," a clear reference to marijuana, through the lens of romantic love. The metaphor is sustained throughout, with the substance depicted as a lover whose presence is both comforting and transformative. The poem’s structure is consistent, using quatrains with an ABAB rhyme scheme, which lends a song-like, confessional tone.

The narrative arc moves from the initial allure and intensity of the relationship to a more subdued, enduring companionship. This progression mirrors the evolution of many long-term relationships, whether with a person or, as here, with a substance. The poem’s emotional honesty is conveyed through lines such as “There's just not the raging fire / no climbing to the heights, / most of the time, just desire... / we make it through the nights,” which effectively capture the shift from passion to routine.

Some areas for consideration:

1. Clarity and Consistency of Metaphor: The poem’s extended metaphor is clear, but there are moments where the language risks becoming literal (“baked in a cookie dough”) and may break the spell of personification. Consider whether the shift to more explicit references enhances or detracts from the poem’s impact.

2. Diction and Syntax: Some lines could benefit from tighter diction. For example, “Your magic so more cunning,” would read more smoothly as “Your magic, all the more cunning,” or “Your magic, so much more cunning,” to clarify the intended comparison.

3. Rhyme and Rhythm: The rhyme scheme is consistent, but some rhymes feel forced or predictable (“cold”/“old,” “away”/“day”). Exploring slant rhyme or varying the rhyme scheme could add freshness and complexity.

4. Emotional Depth: The poem gestures toward regret, nostalgia, and acceptance, but these emotions could be deepened by incorporating more specific imagery or sensory detail. For instance, describing the physical or psychological effects of “Maryjane” in more concrete terms could make the relationship feel more immediate.

5. Tone: The tone is reflective and somewhat melancholic, which suits the subject. However, the poem could benefit from more tonal variation—perhaps by incorporating moments of humor, irony, or sharper self-awareness, especially given the cultural associations of the subject.

Overall, the poem’s use of personification to explore dependency, affection, and the passage of time is effective. Further refinement of language and imagery could enhance its emotional resonance and originality.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Just as all that you write.

Some lines gave me a broad smile.

You never disappoint me sir!

Best wishes

Sitting here in my comfy chair with my computer in my lap I laughed loudly. Steven next to me, in his, playing a game on Playstation 5. Hearing my mirth, he inquired as to what was so amusing... I replied "Geezer! read it for yourself! You will like it! I Loved It!

the Cat

Hi Geezer, this is such a good poem. When I read it I thought your wife's name was Maryjane. I didn't immediately get the reference, until I got to the cookies  The way you have personified Maryjane and used her in the poem shows great talent. 

An enjoyable trip, thank you, Ruby xx

I came back to read once more to enjoy changes. I just adore your fanciful poems! Thank you for the entertainment! Good humor!

love ya. Cat