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Apr 01, 2012
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Love Reigns
Dusk still,
Sky red,
Blue shadows,
Touch flower beds,
Flickering flames,
Embers aglow,
Light up the dark,
Like the soul,
Silver clouds,
Soft and slight,
Moon bathes us,
In her light,
Stars wink,
You blush,
I smile,
Then flush,
Grass moist,
With dew,
But all I feel,
Is you,
Warm and humid,
Soft rose,
My darling’s mouth,
Beautiful to behold,
Mind spins,
Spirit quakes,
Heart pounds,
Body shakes,
Dawn breaks,
Night wanes,
Kisses sweet,
Love reigns.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
13 years 3 months ago
RD
A short line version that runs well and is lovely to read.
You say in your Profile that you are here to learn.
Well you have picked the right site for this
I wish you a happy time here I know you will learn.
Take care, Yours Ian
raj
13 years 3 months ago
Hi Rainy Day
a nice co-relation established in this write by you between natural elements and life time experiences...
Rainy Day
13 years 3 months ago
Thank you
Thank you both very much for the very kind comments. I am glad you liked it.