Seren

Feb 28, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

the loveliness in death

Loneliness grew in me
starting with the end
budding into solitude
the yawing canyon
filled with silence,
I whispered "hello"
echoing off nothing

Loneliness like dying
is eternal stillness
no longer breathing
like silenced waves
smashing the void
I am become as nowt
it kills me slowly

I look to the end
for a little death
a search for meaning
in the stillness, lovely.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Comments

Candlewitch

2 years 4 months ago

dear Sis,

this is lovely and so gentle with a hint of sorrow. my favorite line is:

Loneliness like dying
is eternal stillness

*love Catsis

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dearest One

Thank you I am so glad you liked it, weird though this was, it was like flashes of experience from yesterday or the day before now.

love always Lilbit xox

Geezer

2 years 4 months ago

put a face to loneliness
if such a face exists. It is the emptiness
of a vast canyon, unaware of boundaries.
one little typo, yaw[n]ing. Good stuff!
Made me feel lonely for a moment.
Love and higgest bugs, ~ Geez.
.

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dearest Bro

I am really glad you liked this one I wasn't even sure I was going to post and thought, eh? why not.
I explained the yawing versus yawning, gives it a different spin lol *wink*

I am glad you have *W* I know I haven't left you totally alone after this.

love and higgliest bugs Sis xox

Obadiah Grey

2 years 4 months ago

"La petite mort"

"La petite mort"
Yes, loneliness gets you that way,
and it does indeed echo.

Thank you.
Obi.

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dear Obi

The silence does echo and only someone that knows what true loneliness is understands that thanks for commenting and picking up on a little death. Smiles.

Kind Regards Jayne

Abby

2 years 4 months ago

This is so beautiful. This

This is so beautiful. This writing is so gentle, contrasting a typical idea of death. Loneliness truly is eternal stillness. It’s a sort of silent, internal pain difficult to describe, but you did so brilliantly.

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dear Abby

Thank you for your generous comment, I really appreciate it. It is a different kind of death it's the death of spirit that loneliness unravels.

Thanks again for the kind compliment I appreciate it

Kind Regards Jayne

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 4 months ago

Loneliness

Ughh. I am one lonely mofo. I’ve got the wife and my sister, three other female friends I’m close with. Those 5 people actually truly listen and understand the things I talk about. As far as male bonding or like bro time or whatever…all set. I get nothing out of watching sports talking about nothing deep. It’s sort of cringe actually that that’s the depth of male friendships. So I don’t nurture them because they’re time consuming and wholly unrewarding.

Carl Yung said “loneliness doesn’t come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that are important to you.” That’s some truth right there.

Well done again dear poet,
Tim

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

I have said it before you can

I have said it before you can be a room full of people and be the loneliest person in the world. But there is another kind of loneliness and I can't explain it here it would be utterly pointless. Sometimes you have to cut yourself off in self-preservation, I have a dog.

The Yung quote is on the money not having anyone that understands the things that are closest to your heart and the actual lifeblood of your soul, well it is lonely.

I am glad you have your wife, sister and friends it sounds like they listen, listening is the first step to understanding. Imo.

Thanks for reading and for the kind words.

Jayne

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

Lonliness

My old friend....you have given it a life and character all of its own as well as it's close relative, death. Even in its sadness, you brought beauty to each element with your words. Another fine job.

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dearest Carrie

I think it's a friend everyone has known in their lives more times than they care to admit, but it's true it has been my constant companion and well its quieter this way,

Thanks so much for your kind compliment, I really appreciate it.

hugs Jayne xox

Lavender

2 years 4 months ago

Hello, J,

"...silenced waves smashing the void." Nothing to hear, but so much to feel.
Much love,
L

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Hey L

You got it, hugs.

Oh, so much feeling and nowhere to put it. Except into my words, the many millions that I've written.

much love Jayne xox

lovedly

2 years 4 months ago

title says LOVELINESS

contents speak of loneliness

I'm confused
did you read lately my poem

''when in loneliness think of me ...''
lovedingly

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dear Love

Maybe we're not meant to get everything we read and that's ok, sometimes I read things and have no comprehension only to go back later and be hit in the head with its message. maybe come back to this another day.

No, I haven't read many poems in the last few days!

love an hugs Sis