LOVELY ROSES .....2014 COMPO edit Gee

A message deliver,
the arrival of a new lover is near
we all love roses
my dear
never the thorns ever fear

they prick just slightly
you are used to worse ones

so let all roses speak for you
your true love
she must earn

in the desire of innate love
she may like to burn
like a moth to a flame.

beautiful roses
she will get in return

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

Comments

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

I think...

you need a different word than [severer]. maybe try [worse]?
and how about moth rather than butterfly? [They are usually associated with a flame].
"Like a moth to a flame." ~ Geez.
.

lovedly

3 years 3 months ago

as you like it

Gee
thanks to thee
modern touch may be

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

as you like! I did not edit your poem. I offer critique and suggestions, and I didn't think that I had to add as I so often do, that they are suggestions only and you can do as you like, including using your own edits.
~ Geezer.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear lovedly,

I think (pricks) works as in worse knocks, hits, hurts ect. it is all in the way you see it. it is a beautiful poem, with a bit of philosophy thrown in. I like it alot!

*hugs, Cat