Love's Insideousness

Love’s insidious way of folly
I hasten to report,

ends up not quite so jolly
with a sacrifice the lone retort;

through the days of heartbreak
which constantly peppers his chest,

and said folly, and it’s wake
together forms a kind of mesh;

which can envelope his entire body
protecting him in such a manner,

so, who cares if it looks too gaudy ?
as long as everyone can read love’s banner;

and how it reads is simply this:
sometimes, the bond of two isn’t made,

with the distinction of a desperate kiss
but, rather when oscillating minds seem to fade.

Even love dare not predict, aloud
from a place of audacity, and deception,

that out in the maddening crowd
many cry for love’s inception;

however, after all is said and done,
and the doubters all but rue the day…

and, for the rest that saw it as chance for fun,
maybe now, you’ll understand to get out of the way.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Comments

weirdelf

12 years 4 months ago

A thoughtful poem

May I make a small suggestion? Remove the line breaks to make longer stanzas, it would make it more readable.

.Love’s insidious way of folly
I hasten to report,
ends up not quite so jolly
with a sacrifice the lone retort;

through the days of heartbreak
which constantly peppers his chest,
and said folly, and it’s wake
together forms a kind of mesh;

which can envelope his entire body
protecting him in such a manner,
so, who cares if it looks too gaudy ?
as long as everyone can read love’s banner;

and how it reads is simply this:
sometimes, the bond of two isn’t made,
with the distinction of a desperate kiss
but, rather when oscillating minds seem to fade.

Even love dare not predict, aloud
from a place of audacity, and deception,
that out in the maddening crowd
many cry for love’s inception;

however, after all is said and done,
and the doubters all but rue the day…
and, for the rest that saw it as chance for fun,
maybe now, you’ll understand to get out of the way.

docmaverick

12 years 4 months ago

I've gotcha, elf....

...yes, it DOES make a difference I wrote this in three sittings and, it was "choppy" enough; so, that helps, but I might have to take it forward, a notch, or two.
thanx, for that;
doc.

weirdelf

12 years 4 months ago

just a suggestion

I thought it read better, and more friendly to your reader.