Lavender

Aug 18, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Low Setting Sun

Shadows.
I see them everywhere, now.
Sometimes they are long -
stretched out over tired grass
scattered with yellow leaves
from trees too eager to flirt
with the arousing Fall.
Shadows.
They rest as if freshly mowed,
tenderly mulched into the earth
like potpourri in a delicate drawer -
keepsakes, memories,
soft scents of a summer
almost forgotten behind
the low setting sun.
I lie down within the shade
of the tallest oak
and feel the hours gently
pass until the sun
sets no more.

***

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Hi, Teddy

Aw... very kind, Teddy! It's been a bit hit or miss for me - I am with one of my granddaughters during most the day, e-learning - virtual school, while her parents are off to work. I've started to notice the length of shadows as we get closer to Fall. Trying to stretch out every moment! Pretty fantastic time of year. Thank you for stopping by, Teddy!
L

Lee

4 years 10 months ago

did you know

that if you eat paint and taste colors i can weigh -15 pounds?

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Hello, Lee

I did not, but I do now!
Thanks for dropping in.
Lavender

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Hi, Jerry

There is nothing, in my opinion. You are correct! Looking forward to many more lovely sunsets!
Thank you, Jerry, so much!
L

c lynn brooks

4 years 10 months ago

lavender

your poem has such a delicate quality to it. Lovely writing

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Hi, Chrys

Thank you for your lovely comment!
L

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Hello, Mark

There is something very serene about the sun this time of year - refreshing, yet calming.
Thank you for reading, Mark!
L

pleiades

4 years 10 months ago

Good title.

The first time I read this, I was struck by the quiet air
about it, a delicate, sweet melancholic air. I've read this a number
of times now, and liked it more each time.
As I delved deeper, your words conjured
the images. This is lovely, and I like the structure...it flows.

The only critique I can offer after a number of reads and thoughts, is that
I think it could afford to lose a couple of words here and there,
and not lose the tone at all...a few tiny tweaks
in a couple of places. Less is more, is my mind when reading
with a critical eye...my personal preference. It's lovely as it is.

This..."Shadows", plural. Yet then, "A keepsake, a memory", singular. ?
The shadows are the keepsake, the memory, yes? Unless I'm reading incorrectly,
shouldn't both keepsake and memory, be plural then?
"Keepsakes, memories
soft scents of a summer..."

A lovely poem, written with a tender hand. Evocative, is the word that
comes to mind. You took me there.

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Hello, pleiades

Thank you for spending so much time here. Much appreciated! I am also pretty fond of using fewer words, so I will take another look and scrape off anything that seems unnecessary. So the plural / singular point is valid - I am not certain if the reference is actually the potpourri or the shadows. Will ponder that over, too.
Again, thank you for spending time and sharing your thoughts!
Lavender

Lavender

4 years 10 months ago

Plural Suggestion

Changed to plural - thanks so much for the wonderful suggestion.
Lavender