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Nov 18, 2012
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Ma'am Cat!
Your absence has been branded
Cat ,
where once in a while
in the universe we all call wilderness,
thou escapist to make folks wonder
where the poet has eloped
and when the return is un-sounded
hearts begin to thump again
poets like me are grounded
is it you once again?
I can't believe my weary eyes
some tear drops always remain,
anyhow that's my luck
twill always be the same
those who love me are very few
almost nil 'tis true
that for you I can't ever say it
thanks for coming across the stream
but you write once in a while
whereas we all do time and again
but dare not have the nerve
to catch your vein
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
judyanne
12 years 7 months ago
nice tribute to cat loved
one little nit
imo lol
'some tear drops always remain,
anyhow that's my luck
twill always so remain...'
- you have used the word 'remain' very close here
- why not make the second line
' twill always be the same' ...
a very lovedesque write - i am loathe to suggest any changes
love judy
xxx
loved
12 years 7 months ago
Thanks Judy....
that's why discerning eyes are needed
like yours
corrected
Candlewitch
12 years 7 months ago
Dear Loved,
Is this poem for me? I am humbled and most pleasently surprised by such a lovely tribute! You do me great honor and I thank you with all my heart. I loved these lines:
but you write once in a while
whereas we all do time and again
but dare not have the nerve
to catch your vein
love, Cat
loved
12 years 7 months ago
but of course
I had posted it on your poetry too
you are praised
and deserve it too
'''but you write once in a while
whereas we all do time and again
but dare not have the nerve
to catch your vein.....''''