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Maelstrom
Maelstrom
Transcendental soldiers riding
steeds of mindless steel
clad in trappings suitable for war
patriotic slogans hiding
what they really feel
knowing they have done it all before
shades of souls that never rest
burn them like a flame
and spur them on to deeds they’ll never tell
each of them within his breast
concealing bitter shame
for helping stoke the fire pits of Hell
blood runs red as minions die
performing in a play
directed by political decree
theirs is not to reason why
but only to obey
fighting for the honor to be free
free to breathe polluted air
free to pay their tithe
free to live in cities full of crime
free to subsidize the lair
of those who wield the scythe
and reap the profits of a people’s time
let the steel steeds turn to rust
let the trappings fall
let ghosts of soldiers past no longer thrive
living life is more than just
and giving it is all
one really needs to fully be alive
C. Lon R. Bruso
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
Wow!
I am speechless. This is so powerful. You needn't me tell you so Lonnie, I'm sure you already know, but I wanted to say hello and thanks for such a post.
Lonnie
10 years 5 months ago
Thank you Rula,
Having been through such as this it becomes easier to write about the consequences! Thanks for the feedback!
emogothgirl
10 years 5 months ago
agreed
this one hits hard. very nice.
oh and, by the way, may I post this to the blog?
Mag
Lonnie
10 years 5 months ago
Thanks Mag,
Yes, you may use it, as long as I get a small amount of credit for writing it! LOL!! Thanks for the read and the comment!
emogothgirl
10 years 5 months ago
why of course!
credit where credit is due, that's the policy. here it is :)
http://neopoetofficial.tumblr.com/
Geremia
10 years 5 months ago
Yes, This is a powerful and
Yes, This is a powerful and beautiful write.
keep well, my friend
joe
Lonnie
10 years 5 months ago
Thanks Joe,
Hope all is going well for you these days! Good to hear from you!
judyanne
10 years 5 months ago
nothing to add lonnie
Powerful
Love judy
xxx
Lonnie
10 years 5 months ago
Thanks Judy,
Glad you liked the poem and left me some nice feedback!