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Mar 14, 2025
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Making Connections
Being.
Sharing.
Enjoying.
Learning.
Part of the community.
Praying.
Singing.
Listening.
Connecting.
A total package for me.
I'm part of a community,
a world which works for me.
My little space of pleasure.
It's where I like to be.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: After reading Dr Ruth's book about loneliness and connecting with other people, I am responding with this poem, and it has a rhyme to it. I am working on improving my poetry by adding this extra skill.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 4 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Making Connections" effectively conveys a sense of belonging and interconnectedness within a community. The repetition of verbs in the first two stanzas creates a rhythmic flow and emphasizes the various activities that contribute to this sense of connection. However, the poem could benefit from more vivid imagery or specific examples to make the theme more engaging and relatable to the reader. Additionally, the final stanza could be strengthened by delving deeper into what makes this community a "little space of pleasure" and why the speaker finds it so appealing. Consider adding more descriptive language or personal anecdotes to enhance the emotional impact of the poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact