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mas sweat sans heat
another morning bird
calling to dragging
again
shoulders to knees
creak like long timber
leaves like toes
rustling under sheets
here
squint squint
the street light
peeking thru the
blinds’ own missing teeth
balls sagging low
asshole stinking sweat
vinegar and shit
radiate me
but, time,
showers seem
unimaginable
tedious
like brushing
teeth
or finally living
alone
i tear myself
with booze
and easy pussy
free music
youtube and weed
keeping me
cloudy
yet clear
behooving my
inertia
my
progress
evolution
i beat my inner
child like a champ
with chains of shame
now realized-
another reason
to hate myself
spit shit
and chuck
on the toilet bowl
blood sweat
and tears
on the radio
this is where i am
so far
alone
euphoric
spewing non-sense
this one ends
quietly
i lock the door
on my way out
to work
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
13 years 7 months ago
hello
Good description of letting oneself go due to isolation and/low self esteem. On first glance the lines looked too short but their brevity speeds the flow as I expect is intended..........stan