brittle light

Mar 28, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Mayday!

.
camera mounted tripod
relegated to leaning in the corner
otherwise, unused

accursed vacuum cleaner
covered in the dust
of eternal stillness

printer on the fritz
don't care
purpose has become tiresome

my chair, however,
used and used, so used
conforming me
into a marbled headed quasi statue
stiff
ossified
immobilized
but for the gentle
jostling of a mouse

...while fresh, beckoning sunbeams
peer through smokey windows

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

Comments

Roscoe Lane

14 years 3 months ago

You must,

You must be able to see my room there can be no other answer. I understand this completely as i am it. No seriously that is so close it's uncanny, an astute piece of writing. But also well written Regards Roscoe..

brittle light

14 years 3 months ago

I know this is another very

I know this is another very late reply...my bad! All I can say is that I too am 66, might that have any bearing on our
similar style of living these days!

thanks for the visit

vexations10

14 years 3 months ago

Vivid

I love the imagery. As a photographer and poet, I can relate. (typ0)I think that is an extra c in vacuum.

brittle light

14 years 3 months ago

thank you for the compliment,

thank you for the compliment, and the pointing out the spelling typo

Nordic cloud

14 years 3 months ago

The camera is the seeing eye

The camera is the seeing eye and
the stillness,
the frozen image it records
of this interior, so well described,
we see the whole perfectly.

Love Ann of Norway.

brittle light

14 years 3 months ago

you write so beautifully of

you write so beautifully of other poets work...your.generousity and gentleness is very much appreciated

sincerely

themoonman

14 years 3 months ago

Brittle ...

loved the imagery in this ... only one word I
would question the use of, "ancient" ... I was
thinking this could be something different, more
flavorful ... or not, just thought I'd mention it.

enjoyed the read

Richard

brittle light

14 years 3 months ago

hey Richard

thanks for the input ...your point about "ancient" was valid....I think "smokey" works better

I havn't been commenting much of late (not that I ever did) . Just to let you know, I've liked all your postings
wish you would do more . there is always somthing refresingly poignant about them

sincerely

Geezer

14 years 3 months ago

Photography...

through poetry! I think you have captured the image of the scene perfectly. Maybe instead of [ancient] you could use decrepit? ~ Gee

brittle light

14 years 3 months ago

I am flattered. You are a

I am flattered. You are a whizz at scene capturing yourself....so thank you. Sorry about the late reply. And thanks for offering an alternative choice of a word....I've edited using "smokey windows"

Psyve

14 years 3 months ago

Al,

You do paint a wonderfully clear picture.
Everything else is still and covered in dust or just falling apart with age and disuse, except for this guy in his trusty chair, staring at a computer screen, hand on mouse...
For some reason, though, I see this whole scene in black & white. Not sure why...
Psyve

brittle light

14 years 3 months ago

Psyve

thank you for your feedback...as I reread this piece, I can almost equate a dryness in the rhetorical style with black and white, can't really explain it either....almost as if I inteneded it to be "incolor", but it came out printed in black and white
as opossed to being envisioned in balck and white to begin with!

I don't think that explanation clears things up a bit...but I can live with the wonder of it all.