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May 07, 2025
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Mayday Festival (reworked)
Take me to the Mayday festival
where the maypole stands tall,
festooned with flower garlands
while folk feel the festive call.
Sweet maidens'' smiles on parade
on the green promenade they glide,
holding onto a ribbon from the pole
leave behind fears, setting them aside.
From many miles around the people come
to carry over our cultures ways
with music and colorful costumes
we will celebrate these joyful days.
Come one, come all children of the earth
learn traditions of our ancestral Birth!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: also Beltane
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Consider clarifying the poem's central theme or emotional core. Currently, the poem provides a cheerful and descriptive portrayal of the Mayday festival, but it remains somewhat general. To deepen the reader's engagement, consider exploring more specific imagery or sensory details beyond the visual—perhaps incorporating sounds, scents, or tactile sensations associated with the festival. Additionally, the last couplet introduces a broader cultural message ("traditions of European Birth"), but it feels slightly abrupt and disconnected from the preceding stanzas. Consider expanding or integrating this idea earlier in the poem to strengthen thematic coherence. Finally, pay attention to grammar and punctuation ("Sweet maidens smiles" should likely be "Sweet maidens' smiles," and "allover" should be "all over") to enhance readability and polish.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
1 month 2 weeks ago
An awesome
descriptive piece dearest Candle.
I like all that spring brings. This festival seems to be a lively one of those Spring signs.
I especially like that it also reflects a culture
From all over the people come
to carry over our cultures ways
with music and colorful costumes
we will celebrate these joyful days
These lines are my favorite, though every line is speaking for itself
Come one, come all children of the earth
learn traditions of our ancestral Birth!
Thank you for sharing dear.
Candlewitch
1 month 1 week ago
Dear Rula,
Thank you for reading my poem of a Spring Holiday from my culture. I treasure your responses when I receive them. They are always welcome. I changed one line a bit (of the ones you like) I hope it will be an improvement. Thank you and be well my friend!
your Candle