Me

First line - "used", not "use"

Here's a suggestion
change
All that she could do was hurt and cry
to
All that she could do was cry from hurt
That way it will rhyme or near rhyme with the line before it
"tired" and "hurt", see?

Unless "tired" is a misspell for "tried", then you can ignore the first suggestion and correct the spelling.

Still a good attempt. Keep on writing.

Alid

the little boy I used to be

I'm gonna point out the word feeling in the fourth line could use an s

other than that all I wanna say is Thankyou

This write is subtle and from things accepted, which we all do before rushing into the next affray.
She no longer smiled or even tired.
The last word should be tried if I read right/write lol.
Great to have you with us here,
Yours Ian

Then i think perhaps the lines
'She always wore a sweater
Though it wasn't for the weather'
should possibly be more something like
'She never wore a sweater
Except in inclement weather'
as the old she would not have needed to cover her arms?

and
She never used the sharpener for pencils
But she said it was her favorite utensil''
if you are still talking about the old she, maybe something such as
She used the sharpener for pencils
it wasn't, then, her favorite utensil

just imo i stress - i may have misinterpreted what you are saying :)

or if you are trying to go to the change, then
''Now, she always wears a sweater
Though ít is not for the weather
She once used the sharpener only for pencils
now, she says it's her favorite utensil

or
she never uses the sharpener for pencils
but says it's her favourite utensil

do you see how you have your tenses confused a bit betweeen the first and second thirds of the write?

Can i also suggest for
'She was filled with happiness and no hatred
But soon all of those feelings escalated'
Perhaps
'But soon the ugly (or bad, or mean, etc) feelings escalated', as the line you have seems to say the happy feelings escalated

as ian has pointed out, i think you have a typo with tired ??

a strong write, tylana
welcome to the site
love judy
xxx

A lot to like about this poem, though i think it has a few wrinkles. Judy has that end pretty much covered. A warmhearted welcome to Neopoet, hope you enjoy and florish in your time here. Love Roscoe...

love judy
xxx

I like this simple poem me. The edits was well done. I have no critique outside what's said already. And you have done well revising it with mastery. . Again well done.

but trust me, I am honest, ask anyone on Neopoet. You have the makings of a really good poet.
ok, right now your poems are self indulgent, this was better than the others, true and self revealing.
Yet I expect a lot more from you.
Write your teenage poems whilst you must but read, read, read, look at life, beauty and ugliness and write about them instead of you.
I expect to see your name on the cover of a book one day.

Good poem till line six then eleven and twelve. Lines seven to ten could have been better, presently they seem forced to me, particularly pencil & utensil didn't make much sense because sharpner is not a utensil. Just my amateurish opinion so don't read too much into it, the stalwarts have given a nod of approval which counts..

Regards,