Memories

The robin that often visits,
Or the angel that you see.
Each a poignant reminder,
Of the ones that used to be.

Like traditions that were cozy,
Or those values that seem lost.
Such memories are priceless,
They come without a cost.

In the flutter of a heartbeat,
Great emotions flood the mind.
More than pure addictions,
In connections that bind.

And when humanity's chaos,
Turns all sense of reason around.
It's often words of wisdom,
That stop us running aground.

Hark the wisest woman,
Or the Grampa, with tales of old.
Take heed of reminiscing,
And listen to what you're told.

For memories never leave you,
Like words into your ears.
The wisest of encouragement,
Designed to allay your fears.

Although the lips which spoke them,
Have soared and gone away.
The wisdom they imparted,
Will always get to stay.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Coventry, England, GBR

Favorite Poets: Michael Rosen , Rudyard Kipling , Pam Ayres , Benjamin Zephaniah

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

neopoet

6 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Memories" exhibits a clear understanding of rhythm and rhyme, which is commendable. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further refinement.

Firstly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm. While most lines adhere to a similar syllable count, there are a few that deviate, such as "And when humanity's chaos," and "The wisest of encouragement,". These lines disrupt the rhythm and could be revised for a more consistent flow.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the poem does use imagery, such as the robin and the angel, these images are somewhat generic. More specific or unique imagery could help to make the poem more engaging and memorable.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a clearer thematic focus. While the theme of memory is clear, the poem touches on a number of related topics, such as tradition, wisdom, and humanity's chaos. Focusing more narrowly on one of these topics could help to make the poem's message more impactful.

In conclusion, while the poem shows promise, it could benefit from a more consistent rhythm, more specific imagery, and a clearer thematic focus.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Ray Miller

6 months ago

Memories

Enjoyed the read. You can avoid the repetition of "see" in the opening lines with "The robin that often visits..."
It's allay, not alay.

Tigger Kaz

5 months 4 weeks ago

Thank you

Good spot, thank you.

Lavender

5 months 4 weeks ago

Memories

Hello, Tigger,
One by one, the generation before me has left. However, I can still hear their voices in the conversations and stories they shared. Those moments have become more precious through time.
I believe I'd remove "so" in all the lines of the second stanza. We tend to use it to be more emphatic, but the words "cozy," "lost," and "priceless" really speak for themselves.
Thank you!
L

Tigger Kaz

5 months 4 weeks ago