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Feb 02, 2025
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Memories of a better time
I remember a time,
With love and care.
A sense of gratitude,
A time that was fair.
No rollercoaster ride,
Leaving many behind.
But a real community,
Both sharing and kind.
I recall an era,
Of tidy streets.
Respect and duty,
Came to meet.
No entitled attitudes,
Nor selfish behaviour.
And the love of money,
Really wasn't our saviour.
I miss the time,
When society cared.
This rollercoaster ride,
Has us running scared.
Yet memories are priceless,
With a sprinkle of hope.
In the midst of this crisis,
It's what's needed to cope.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Memories of a better time" effectively uses a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB) and rhythm throughout, which creates a pleasing auditory experience for the reader. The use of repetition, particularly in the lines "No rollercoaster ride," and "This rollercoaster ride," helps to emphasize the central theme of societal change and its impact on the individual.
However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While it does make use of some concrete details, such as "tidy streets," much of the poem is quite abstract. Including more specific and vivid details could help the reader to more fully understand and connect with the speaker's nostalgia for the past.
Additionally, the poem's message could be made more complex. The poem currently presents a somewhat simplistic view of the past as uniformly better than the present. Exploring some of the nuances and contradictions of this perspective could make the poem more engaging and thought-provoking for the reader.
Finally, the poem's conclusion, while hopeful, could be more impactful. The final lines "Yet memories are priceless, / With a sprinkle of hope. / In the midst of this crisis, / It's what's needed to cope." could be reworked to more directly tie back to the specific memories and feelings explored earlier in the poem. This would give the poem a stronger sense of closure and resonance.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
4 months 3 weeks ago
Well said!
I miss those times too... Very relatable indeed!
Can't say it better myself.
Thank you for sharing dear.