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Neopoem Of The Week January 15th to January 21st 2023
In Memory Of The Good Times
When I think of you,
I remember the bad times first.
Slamming doors,
Hidden tears,
Words sharp as knives.
But the good times are not lost to those memories.
I remember our mornings before work,
Hot coffee and cigarettes on a cold, winter day before the sun came up.
We would chat about nothing as we sipped and puffed away.
Those first silent moments of the day were always special to me.
I remember our late nights,
Ripping through abandoned roads on two wheels.
The only sounds were the crickets and our exhausts.
I remember the hot asphalt
and the rattling of chains
when we would cruise for the hell of it.
I remember the first time we held our baby girl.
The tears in both our eyes said everything our voices couldn’t.
Part of me yearns to have those days back.
I know I can’t relive the glory days,
But thanks for the memories.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
dear Kristen,
in this line: "The tears in both our eyes said everything our mouths couldn’t."
I believe that if you used (voices) instead of (mouths) it would sound better. that is my only suggestion. the end of your poem made me smile, thank you for this!
*hugs, Cat
Kristen H.
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you
for the feedback! You're right, voices does sound much better. I'm glad I could make you smile :)
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Kristen
This poem resonates with me as I look back on a certain relationship and realize how many good times and events outweighed the bad stuff. We can't go back in time but we hang on to the memories and smile once in a while. A wonderful, honest, emotive write! Good job!
Kristen H.
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you!
In this specific relationship, the bad definitely outweighed the good, but every once in a while the good memories come back. Thanks for your feedback!