A Message To A Friend (An Elizabethan Sonnet)

it meets basic requirements like ababcdcd etc and 14 lines
about iambic pentameter etc ask Judy please

This is an ambitious beautiful tribute. I shall come to it in an hour or so.
Thanks for sharing.

salam Khalid

I really like this sonnet.

I am coming with a few suggestions if I may,

First, I think the title needs to be a "A Message To A Friend" as to attract the reader more? But it works both ways I think.

*There's a problem in the tense in the first stanza that can be easily fixed.;

When life is stained with shades of grim and grey,
you find yourself, a wreck, engulfed by [in] pain.
It choked [chokes] your voice and claimed [claims] you as its prey,
the tears of rage you cried [cry] will pour like rain.

You tried [try] to crawl away to free your heart,
the one ravaged by time that stretched a mile.....the meter is a bit off here
the ONE| RA vaged| by TIME| that STRECHED| a MILE.... A suggestion

the ONE | that TIME |has RA|vaged, STRECHED| a mile

As all your hopes and dreams are torn apart,
your soul's defeat has left a taste so vile.

I LOVE your volta. It is so with uplifting spirit.

Do not despair and bowed [bow] your head in shame!
Just let your will define your strength, my friend.
Be bold, be strong, be you the burning flame,
in time you'll see the storm of grief will end.

I always pray for your return, my dear
though out of sight, in spirit you are near.[.]

An awesome closing couplet. So sincere and flows with emotions.

Now.
Bravo, bravo, bravo.
With the exceptions of the flaws that Rula pointed out the poem is marvelously constructed. The tenses can be fixed with ease, but what makes this poem so lovely is the language. Elegant and to the point. This is easily the best of what I have read of yours.

You're a much better sonnet writer than I am. But I have a few ideas to consider (unless they mess up the meter).
S-1, l-1 try changing "of" to all
S-1, L-4 change you to your
S-3,l-4 try storm of strife.
And it Goes seem as if a lot of our friends here are undergoing health problems and this poem is likely to be appreciated by all of them.......stan

"It chokes your voice and claims you as its prey,"

"as" means exactly like something. In other words the pain would have to physically attack you and eat you as a prey animal.
Unlikely.
However, "like" means closer to a metaphor. "A figure of speech" so to speak.
So in this instance "like" should be used.
I told you it was weird.

A great sonnet Alid.
Sorry to be late, but you obviously needed very few suggestions for this

Just a thought - Wesley's comment re 'as' and 'like'
I really prefer to use 'as' - mainly because I simply dislike the word 'like ', but also because it makes the verse a metaphor rather than a simile

Just me :)
Love judy
xxx

The vast majority of words must be repeated, but let's spread them to avoid the "image" of redundancy. Take this from a guy who has written 24,000 lines of an epic poem and counting. Trying to keep words from being used often and close to each other is hard, but I think "mildly" important. Don't go nuts with this. Sometimes the sentence simply needs to be a sentence with multiple words used.
I agree with Judyanne about using "as" simply because it sounds good. Who but an idiot like me is going to even notice it's grammatically incorrect, much less care.