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May 27, 2013
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M.I.A. ...
Riding nightmares to the war
he screams out his battle-cry
No-man’s land is lonely
he sees the bodies sent to die
A blackened field; trees burning
the horizon flaring red
He knows the streaks of fire
have come to claim his head
No sleep for him, or rest
for his weary soul
He cannot claim a victory
he never reached his goal
Supposed to bring his buddies home
He promised all of them
We’ll get through this boys
though how’s beyond my ken
Now he stands up in a wasteland
of failed duty; he is sure
He’s fought so hard for freedom
His heart’s been cleansed of pure
Bitter tears he sheds for duty
He couldn’t follow through
Couldn’t bring them home
Bring them home for me and you
Now he’s another victim
never came home from the war
Though he made it back; he didn’t
Ne’er got back from the war
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A buddy of mine once told me, that you had to be there to appreciate the total destruction of a napalm-attack. You could smell the burning of the very earth. He had nightmares now and then. He was getting counseling and I hope that one day he comes back from the war. This poem is for all the people that didn't and won't come back from the past and [ although I hate to say it], future wars.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
lonlyhrtsclub13
12 years 1 month ago
very powerful
The images were so clear in this write. I can see the soldier standing, alone and devestated. I can see him going home a different person than when he left. He was here in body but not in mind. So true for so many veterans and soldiers who are still active today.
Geezer
12 years 1 month ago
As Stan said...
there are many that feel that they let their comrades down and didn't do enough to get their brothers-in-arms home. I hope that someday they will realize that they did all that they could. I'm glad that the images were so clear here. I tried to show some of the pain I know they felt. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Gee
scribbler
12 years 1 month ago
Hi Gee
The strange thing, to me, is that so many feel guilt at having survived when so many others didn't.........stan
Geezer
12 years 1 month ago
I wish...
that I could shake the hand of all of them and let them know that we are glad that they did make it back.
Thanks, you got it in one! ~ Gee
Ian.T
12 years 1 month ago
Gee
War not only kills, it leaves a trail of sadness, throughout sometimes more than one generation.
There is no way though I have been to a war zone, and watched my friends become traumatized, it makes many tears, I can only give them all the love I can and just be there when needed.
That little girl optimised Napalm, her picture has been shown so many times but it can never show the horror that all involved go through.
I have said enough young man it is hard to bear, Yours Ian.T
PS:- well written as always, take care...
Geezer
12 years 1 month ago
Never having...
been in the military and certainly not to war; I cannot say that I understand what these men and women went through. I do know that I have met many of them that have and I can say that they have been traumatized.
I hope that I did them justice and showed them that there are people out there that appreciate what they have sacrificed for their country and the world. Thank you for the read and the kind words, ~ Gee