Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Aug 07, 2024
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
A miracle perchance
A single grain of sand,
Droplets of rain that land.
Or a tiny little person,
To take hold of my hand.
The briefest waft of scent,
A view serene and pleasant.
Or a most thoughtful thing,
That I give as a present.
A beating heart,
A last breath departs.
Or everlasting love,
When binding our hearts.
The smallest of chance,
Life awesomely enhanced.
Or a miracle from above,
In the puzzle of life's romance.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
10 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "A miracle perchance" explores the theme of appreciating the small moments and gestures that can bring joy and meaning to life. The imagery of a single grain of sand, droplets of rain, and a tiny little person conveys a sense of wonder and gratitude for the simple things in life. The contrast between fleeting moments like a brief waft of scent and more profound experiences like everlasting love adds depth to the poem. The structure of the poem with its consistent rhyme scheme and rhythmic flow enhances the overall message of finding miracles in everyday life. Consider further developing the imagery and exploring different perspectives to enrich the emotional impact of the poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
10 months 3 weeks ago
A Miracle, Perchance
Hello, Tigger,
A lovely poem pointing out the simple, yet wonderful moments in life that do seem too good to be true - but yet, they are! Miracles! I don't believe the "s" on "lands" in the first stanza is needed, therefore giving it an absolute rhyme with "sand" and "hand." I wonder if trying to rephrase and eliminate all the added "s" and "es" would look and sound smoother - just a suggestion as I read through.
This piece is a gentle reminder to realize what miracles lie before us every day. Very nice!
Thank you!
L
Tigger Kaz
10 months 3 weeks ago
Thank you for your helpful
Thank you for your helpful suggestions.
Rula
10 months ago
I understand
All are too good to be true!