Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jan 03, 2022
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
A MIRROR
What we receive
From all around
Only our deeds
Rebound
Hear we only
That things
Our tongue yells
In the ear;s wells
Words of love
That we speak
Take us by storm
And send to peak
World around us
Mirrors the same
That reflects
Only our name
Do the good
Without reward
It is the only
Its own award
Nemesis is at work
It does not leave ever
And it does justice sure
Its act wastes never
About This Poem
Last Few Words: crtically review
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Race_9togo
3 years 6 months ago
I like this.
Your title is good.
I like your language, although it occassionally becomes a little obscure to me. But that's okay: english is a living language, and it often makes one have to stop and think.
In general your cadence is good. The only part I did not like is the second verse:
"Hear we only
That things
Our tongue yells
In the ear;s wells"
It does not follow the same rhyming structure as the rest of the poem, and I think that the word "that" in the second line should be "the".
Finally, I like the theme very much, that what we say and do is thrown back at us like reflections from a mirror. This is a great image.
Thanks for writing this...keep them coming.