lou

Dec 24, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Misfit

He dodges labels, left and right
avoiding conformity,
with every fibre.

He rails against authority,
sticks two fingers up at society,
he has autonomy.

A member of humanity,
longing to lose his membership.
He craves freedom from the insanity.

A member of humanity,
but not just another statistic
He craves his right for anonymity

You won't pin him down
he is elusive.
He is an anarchist.

A solitary soul,
a misfit by design.
He is anti conventional strife.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda , Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics,

Comments

Kailashana2

14 years 7 months ago

I think you have found your

I think you have found your niche, Lou. But isn't the title *Solitary*?

For some reason it reminds me of the Dos EqUis commercials on the *most interesting man in the world*.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1imLlJzcfY&NR=1

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Anna

Thank you , I'll take a look at your link.

Lou

Psyve

14 years 7 months ago

Lou,

This felt to me as if it was inspired in some part by the Julian Assange controversy, which is very much in the papers these days.

And then it reminded me of an individual back when I was an Architecture student, who also took great care and pride in his "Social Misfit" status: a good designer who delighted in thumbing his nose at his professors and who ended up needing 7 years to get through a 5 year course.

Psyve

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Psyve

I'm afraid i'm not that smart LOL ! There's no connection to the Julian Assange debacle.

It is just a subject that appeals to me, and an aspiration of mine.

Lou

mand

14 years 7 months ago

Hi Lou

I always like your poems.

LOads of love

Mand xxxxxx

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Mand

Thanks, i'm glad you like them.

love lou

Candlewitch

14 years 7 months ago

Dear Lou,

Good poem,

A member of humanity,
longing to lose his membership.
He craves freedom from the insanity.

makes me think he is suicidal. It reminds me of an old boyfriend who was very self-destructive. And highly intelligent.

Merry Christmas to you.

love, Cat

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Cat

I'm glad you liked it, the person is fictional.

Hope you have a good Xmas.

love lou

Geezer

14 years 7 months ago

Glad to hear...

that it is a fictional person. [Two] fingers? Must be really pissed! A two fisted finger flinger! Really good work, gives great images. ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 7 months ago

Lou

when we are unconventional, is when we are at our best. why be corraled like cattle, when we know the ways of the free spirit that lives waiting for its escape. And escape you have!!
So fly and do not let yourself be anchored to the dream life of the world for it is only a fog.
Always Eddie

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Eddie

I am not the person in the poem, because I am a female, but we all strive for freedom.

Lou

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 7 months ago

lou

I know your a female, but I am one that does not look at your sex but at what you accomplish as a person. I only see the freedom you have conveyed in this write and how because of your indiviualism the world see you as a misfit. I say Bravo to you.
again I know your a female. and still I say respect to you!!
Always Eddie

(we are all Gods/Goddess of our own heaven, and those that don't see it then this is their hell)

lou

14 years 7 months ago

Eddie

I'm glad you know I'm female, my name has proved confusing for some LOL

Lou

Hooded Stranger

14 years 7 months ago

Lou

Lou,

I was surprised you called it 'misfit'...surely 'Hooded Stranger' would have been a better title!! Lol!

Loved this piece, although the middle part, which could be considered a chorus would need tightening up if it is a chorus.

That said, loved it!

lou

14 years 7 months ago

HS

I considered calling it Hooded Stranger, but I didn't want to give you a swollen head LOL

I'm really happy that you like it so much.

p.s How would you tighten the chorus ?

Lou

Hooded Stranger

14 years 6 months ago

Lou

Lou,

I can handle a swollen head!!

Chorus:

A member of humanity,
longing to lose his membership.
He craves freedom from the insanity.

A member of humanity,
but not just another statistic
He craves his right for anonymity.

The line with 'statistic ' felt too long so it needed to be shortened to keep in better meter with the first chorus. The last line of second chorus needed to be longer to keep in same meter as last line of the first chorus. My versions are done quickly as it is 1pm on Xmas day and I have had one too many Jack Daniels, but hopefully my ideas give the idea of what needed changing.

regards,

lou

14 years 6 months ago

HS

The Jack Daniels don't seem to have hampered you lol !

Thanks mate.

Lou