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S
scribbler
Aug 25, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

ON MISSING THINGS

I will miss the acrobatic squirrels
as they vault from tree to tree
searching for an acorn treat
while they fuss and bark at me.

I will miss the speedy rabbits
as they sprint from the brier patch
brown blurs dodging red tail hawks
when they dive beneath the thatch.

I will even miss the feral hogs
all their grunting as they root about
snuffling for some roots and grubs
with their blunt and muddy snout.

I shall miss the graceful deer
with polished antlers standing tall.
If I don't sight my rifle in
I fear that I shall miss them all.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

13 years 11 months ago

beautiful

I like this. It brought back the memories i cherished this summer of squirrels jumping from tree to tree in my back yard as i look out my sliding glass door from my den.

i even cherished the memories of squirrels dashing for the woods as i drove into my yard.

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

13 years 11 months ago

You got,

You got me right to the end, a beautiful picture painted in words. Exploded in words. Regards Roscoe

S

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Roscoe

Just a play on the phrase of missing something lol..........stan

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 11 months ago

I'm reminded, for some reason, of the Ogden Nash poem

I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree
perhaps unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.

The first three stanzas are basic pastorale, then a Jeffrey Archer punchline. A bit cheap mate.

A few notes on meter
searching for a big acorn [places unatural stress on orn in acorn]
when they burrow underneath the thatch [would scan beter as-]
when they burrow under thatch
I fear that I shall miss them all
I fear I'll miss them all

rhyme works well.

S

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Jess

I'm always going back and tinkering with stuff and will keep your ideas in mind when I do so with this.........stan

S

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Rose

A bad knee has already diminished the lengths of my forest wanderings. I am pleased that you have a garden you can visit among the stark urban landscape............stan

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear Scribbler,

thanks so very much for recommending this poem...I was surprised by the ending. a good laugh!

*hugs, Cat