Monsters

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a raw and intimate exploration of internal struggles personified as "monsters," which effectively conveys the pervasive and enduring nature of mental and emotional challenges. The metaphor of monsters as real entities—embodied by familiar people and internalized feelings—grounds the abstract experience of anxiety, self-doubt, and trauma in tangible imagery.

The narrative arc, tracing the monsters’ origins from fleeting thoughts to entrenched influences, provides a compelling progression that deepens the reader’s understanding of how these internal battles evolve and persist. The lines describing the monsters’ impact—“They speak of grandeur they breathe chaos into my life” and “Taking stabs at my heart cuts across my skin”—use vivid, visceral language that evokes both psychological and physical pain.

However, the poem would benefit from attention to form and mechanics to enhance its clarity and emotional impact. The absence of punctuation and consistent capitalization sometimes makes the reading experience uneven and can obscure meaning. Introducing strategic punctuation and line breaks would help emphasize key moments and create a more deliberate rhythm. For example, breaking longer lines into shorter segments could heighten tension and allow the reader to absorb the weight of each image.

Additionally, some phrases could be refined for grammatical accuracy and smoother flow—for instance, “when I had attempt to ran” could be revised to “when I attempted to run” to maintain tense consistency and clarity. Similarly, “be gentile” likely intends “be gentle,” which, if corrected, would prevent distraction from the poem’s message.

The closing couplet—“So now when i make reservations i save a seat for each of my friends / Just like they have told me they are all i will have in the end”—powerfully encapsulates the resignation and isolation that often accompany such struggles. Emphasizing this conclusion through formatting or a pause before these lines could amplify their emotional resonance.

Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its candid portrayal of mental health challenges as persistent, familiar adversaries. With careful editing to address technical aspects and enhance pacing, the poem’s voice and imagery would become even more compelling and accessible to readers.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

come back to this later, I want to comment and a little critique. I read it and it is very interesting.

~ Geezer.

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 the A.I.s interpretation of this piece, I have to agree with most everything that it says. That being said; I am impressed with the emotion displayed here. I guess we all have monsters in our lives, but some of us manage to overcome them, [or at least some of them]. I had a real-life monster in my life too. 
It was my father, who was an alcoholic and deeply troubled man. I understand about the difficulty of writing about the monsters and their effects. I applaud you for your efforts, and may they become easier to write about and purge yourself from.

The A.I. is right, in that writing clearly so that the reader understands without puzzling about what you mean is something that you can master. Good punctuation and form are something you will develop. Both of these things have helped me in my writing. I am sure that there will be many here that will see you as a fellow monster hunter. The A.I. is not all-seeing, all powerful and sometimes misses the human side of things, and being a machine is sometimes a disadvantage in trying to puzzle out dealing with humans, so take heed of the advice from your fellow poets. 
I look forward to your next post. ~ Geezer.
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