scribbler

Jan 29, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

MONSTERS ( co-written with Hooded Stranger )

In the world where day meets night
gather those who crave moonlight
these devils
await

As the madness in their minds
fills them with deadly designs
these creatures
salivate

Monsters' faces always vary
so of strangers' eyes be wary
for it may be that deep inside
far beneath a pleasant hide
a monster lurks so very near
with a snarl and a sneer
needing just a minor jolt
causing the human shell to molt
unleashing the bringer in disguise
as you become its tender prize

The daily news headlines all read
of victims left at night to bleed
these demons
celebrate

People shake behind their walls
praying the veil of darkness quickly falls
these killers
hate

Then there is the one that's worst
with which we all are easily cursed
the one that can rend your very soul
suffocating if let out of control
the evil one which hides deep within
the poison pulsing beneath your skin
but
will you let your insanity take hold
.......and win ?

Stan Holliday and Dan Watts

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

monsters

I wrote an original version of this as result of a challenge from Dan, then we got together and both worked on it a while until the result was this mess lol.Glad you enjoyed this walk on the dark side.................stan

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Shirl

Shirl,

glad you liked this write. I really enjoyed working with Stan...he let me lose with his original words and we are really pleased with the end result.

kind regards,

Kailashana2

14 years 5 months ago

I enjoyed this co-write. ~A

I enjoyed this co-write.

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

monsters

thank you.......................scribbler

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks

Thanks,

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

monsters

I guess next I'll write an epic while singing zippity-do-dah out my butt lmao. I'm pleased you enjoyed this excursion...........stan

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Rosina

Rosina,

Stan can take the majority of the credit here - he had already written this piece - I just messe d it up a little!

regards,

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi there

"Monsters' faces always vary
so of strangers' eyes be wary
for it may be that deep inside
far beneath a pleasant hide
a monster lurks so very near
with a snarl and a sneer
needing just a minor jolt
causing the human shell to molt
unleashing the bringer in disguise
as you become its tender prize" ,,,,,,,,,,,

I really like those lines good writing guys ,,,,,,,,,,

"In the world where day meets night",,,,,,,,,,,,,,( I was think of) ,,,,,,,,,
In (this) world where ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
In (a) world where day meets ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

hello ziggy

always good to see you show up here. I am glad you enjoyed our collaboration. I will take your suggestion under consideration in the inevitable edit.....................scribbler

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Zigs

Zigs,

Thanks for reading mate,

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi again

hi mine was just a small suggestion ,
I do like the lines I pointed out , I had no
idea this was in the making ,,,,,,,,zigs

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

monsters

Good to catch people by surprise every once in a while lol. I welcome all suggestions large or small on all work. Might not always take them though as Sometimes my intent is not clear or my stubborness just shows up. thanks again from Dan and myself.............scribbler

lou

14 years 5 months ago

Stan and HS

Obviously I am aware of Dan's affinity with the dark side, it's good to see you accessing your darker side, Stan.

I knew you had it in you Stan , I remember the song we wrote as a group, during the lyric chat that I hosted.

Loved the imagery, loved everything about this one.

Lou

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

hi lou

I knew that many on site who specialize in dark side writes would be interested in this. Kinda hard to believe anybody would remember that chat song though lol...........................stan

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Lou

Lou,

Stan is darker than I had thought...he scared me to death at times during this write!! Lol!

thanks for reading,

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

Bwaa Ha HA

FEAR THE SCRIBBLER !!! LMAO