Moon Moment

the full moon is there
for the lonely

a friendly face
to look into
every so often

singing
or laughing back

don't worry

we're both
golden, kid

surrounded by space
enough still
to realize our dreams

when you've wished
too many times

upon a faulty star,
the moon says

try looking closer

wish upon
me

your blue
or brown eyes

this beautiful
moment

this airy
nighttime

reprieve

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

gregwa8

6 years 11 months ago

thank you, Katie!

Mikeozams

6 years 11 months ago

Nice

I think the arrangement fits the narrative. Initially, I was lost with the punctuation because I was trying to see it from your own perspective too. I guess it could have been intentional.
Anyway, your poem is cool. In fact, it began to feel like a dance.

gregwa8

6 years 11 months ago

thank you! I could have

thank you! I could have (should have?) put quotes. but I think it allows it to feel more like something in the viewers mind without them. such a "conversation" should be a bit mysterious, right?