Morning and Night

One heart, it seems,
was built with double doors,
A restless tide that pulls
for different shores.
She stands between two shadows
in the light,
One like the morning,
one the velvet night.

The First is steady,
grounded like the oak,
The quiet warmth within
a heavy cloak.
He is the hearth,
the promise, and the home,
The anchor in a sea of rising foam.

The Second is the spark,
the sudden gale,
The wind that whips against
a straining sail.
He is the lightning,
jagged and intense,
The wilder logic of the present tense,
He is the risen of tension.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: the unpredictable of woman who loves two men and can't let go any of them, she'll beg anyone of them who get upset and want to live.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , abuja

Favorite Poets: Any good poet of my likening, [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]

Comments

neopoet

2 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

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Geezer

2 months 2 weeks ago

Nicely done...

but it is not free verse. I understand the wanting to label it free verse, but...

The last line doesn't follow the established rhyme or rhythm and just makes it awkward. I would suggest that you rewrite it or maybe make a new verse that deals with the line that makes the theme. ~ Geez.