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Aug 24, 2011
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morning sex during a thunderstorm
Spoon feeding each other
the rain
moaning with the thunder
zig-zag bodies convulsing
but you didn't like the poem
I wrote afterwards,
you said
it didn't do anything for you
and there weren't any lines
that jarred you
but hey, I could have said
sex wasn't earth-shattering
but I won't.
and all you could say is "better".
All I could think is yeah, it better
be better or this metaphor will
walk out the door.
"He loves me."
p.s. No poets were harmed in the making of this poem
(He said yet, as of this moment.)
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
13 years 11 months ago
Dear Anna
the title is true to the encore dished out in the main course...the interactive lines surely spiced it up...
raj
13 years 11 months ago
Anna
i know you generally don't like to tinker with your poem...yet a wee bit suggestion..
i think the like "go out with a toss" could read better than "walk out the door"
Kailashana2
13 years 11 months ago
Barry keeps me honest, hence
Barry keeps me honest, hence metaphor walks out the door, Raj. Thanks for reading and the comments.
~A
raj
13 years 11 months ago
hmmmmmmmm "Barry keeps me
hmmmmmmmm "Barry keeps me honest"...well said Anna ...women are stingy with compliments for their Man..lol..
themoonman
13 years 11 months ago
Anna ...
Thanks, I enjoyed the banter between you two, made me smile!
Thunder storms are a wonderful catalysis, and there's always
something going on underneath.
Richard
raj
13 years 11 months ago
Richard...
join the banter ..lol...
Barbara Writes
13 years 11 months ago
I read this twice and
all i could say was "crazy":)
lovely poem Anna