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Morse Code
It annoyed me when she said, don't speak, you'll ruin it.
But maybe sometimes it's better to speak in silence.
Maybe our souls tell each other secrets our mouths do not know,
Maybe our eyes unveil mysteries that our minds can’t decipher.
Maybe letters and words and sounds aren’t enough to say what needs to be said.
Maybe what needs to be said, is exactly what shouldn’t be said at all.
Or maybe what is said is not what is felt.
Maybe that’s what she meant.
Maybe she was scared that the words would lie to the eyes and the souls.
Or maybe she was scared that the eyes and the minds were the ones telling the lies.
That maybe eyes didn’t reveal mysteries,
And that minds didn’t communicate in secret without sound.
Maybe when she said don’t speak, you’ll ruin it, she knew that it would.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
7 years 5 months ago
Just the kind...
of thing that I like! I really like the title, as it says just enough about what you want to say, but not too much. You know what I mean? Your language use is good, [no big words that one has to look up or stop to think about what they mean]. You took the theme apart and put it back together again with an explanatory sentence every so often, which made it fun to read. I thought the logic consistent with a smooth flow from beginning to end. Nice work!
Welcome to Neo! I hope that you continue to write and ask for criticism and help here and that you join some of the many workshops that are available each month. Join our monthly contests and maybe win the prize! ~ Geezer.
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