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Candlewitch
Candlewitch
May 10, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Most want... (To Die In Their Sleep! by:eddy styx)

Most People Want:

(To Die In Their Sleep) by: eddy styx

I see you
deeply, kissing him good-night
I sense you
behind the closed door
I know your
bedroom walls & drapes
I feel
your satin bed sheets
I smell
the decadent perfume
I taste
the sickly dregs of death...

I am hidden there,
as, you open the windows
turn out the lights,
turn off the bell on your phone,
slipping fluidly into bed.
sleep comes gently, as you close your eyes,
falling utterly under it's spell..

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

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More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 2 months ago

A good look...

at the alter-ego who resides in a relationship. I thought it very engaging and clear about his feelings for you. Most writers that have an alter-ego, do not ever address the relationship with their host. I find it most interesting, and did not realize how I have dealt with this matter of my own, until I was framing my response to you. I think that it also goes to show the difference in the borning of an alter-ego. Hmmmm... I do believe that there may be something to this conjecture. Thank you for this insight.
~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

dear Boys,

I am not most writers, or even most people. Steven says that I have a lot of masculine philosophies and my approach to life is more masculine than feminine. not many little girls are taught how to fight when they are young, lol.

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 2 months ago

Agreed...

you do seem to be a "Tom Boy". My sisters all took lessons from me or my brothers. We never had to defend them; by the time we learned about anything happening, it was all done and over with! LoL Hugs from all, ~ Geez.
.

lovedly

lovedly

3 years 2 months ago

the aroma of death.

exquisite words
of SILENT death

we love to wade away in our sleep
no fear of the twin mind
are you awake
eddy

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

dear Mr. joghe,

thank you very much for both reading and commenting. have a good one...

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

Jackweb

Jackweb

3 years 2 months ago

Death presence within

The way you created your poems sometimes stirs up goose bumps on my skin. Your structural, grammatical, rhythmic, metrical, verbal and visual elements, all are in place.

Apt and beautifully crafted piece!

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

dear onyinyechi,

thank you very much for reading and commenting! I enjoyed your review, very much.

*hugs, Cat