Neopoet Challenge Contest # 15

(Read More...)

Mothers Departure A CHALENGE CONTEST MAY #15

This poem-- MOMS SMILES depicts her departure

...to the new home
no where
on an airy road
to no where

yet it speaks of the whole truth
inch by inch
as she crept into the wilderness
created for all

no lack of space
all are
and will be welcome
one day

this happened five decades away
can any one relay

MY MOM'S SMILES

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

Comments

Candlewitch

3 years 1 month ago

dear lovedly,

put a space between (This poem MOMS SMILES depicts her departure) this and the second line. this is a lovely poem for your Mother. it flows nicely. it shows that you loved her.

*hugs, Cat

Ray Whitaker

3 years 1 month ago

I wanted to walk

Further that I did with this piece. Your highlighted moments within the poem are dramatic, tho.

I would alter the title a bit: “This poem MOMS SMILES depicts her departure“ to only “Her Departure”

‘Course, if you were making this a contest entry, then the title is to include the subject of the contest…. And if you were making this a contest entry, you should also use the drop down menu on the Submit page to delineate it.