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The Ms. Madonnamonica Pop, Con Show Supreme - (Strong adult language content)
Things can only help define
her as undefinable;
seemingly frail, oppose her you'll fail
give her one reason, she's had a belly full!
Purely in my interest I notice
all instances start resembling "luck";
she'll always look great, although "fashionably late"
because of you she will not give a "fuck".
Merely an independent sparkle of an act
that's more "smoke" than "mirrors" I think;
but, don't you surmise, or she will surprise
you-during a most "regrettable blink"!
Using her misdirectional way with "grace"
she propels her precise-private con;
before you leave, you'll reluctantly believe
her whole story, with your assets all gone!
So vague with her hidden agendas
that "pulsate"as she orchestrates in the air;
before your own eyes, you'll soon realize
this crazy bitch plays a game that's not, "fair".
So quickly she smoothly manipulates
every moment 'til they all fill a "chain";
a necklace of rules, that glistens at fools
which she wears until none dare remain!
Also with this stoic knowledge
after all's been said and done;
without any choice, in your serious voice
you've helped "fix" all the bells that she's rung!
So the most highly recommended "flight-plan"
whether flying too "low" or too "fast';
is fly under each star, and all forms of radar
or she'll be handing to you your own "ass";
and while we're actually at "it",
never mind about questioning "why";
you'll soon know "full well", you've helped make your "own hell"
and naively became her tight alibi!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I keep making revisions.......am I done, yet? Or, am I merely......."posturing", or moisturizing ? Somebody please update, me ! Thanx, in the banx; doc.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 8 months ago
Hello,
Your title caught my eye! What an enjoyable read for me to discover! I like your subtle rhyming scheme. It is very hard to choose favorite lines with this piece but I think I like these best:
and while we're actually at "it",
never mind about questioning, "why";
you'll soon know "full well", you've helped make your, "own hell"
and naively became her, alibi.
very clever!
always, Cat
docmaverick
13 years 8 months ago
As usual, Cat....
...you've gone and made my "day", once again. Thanx, sooo very much for your bright comments.......by the way, I was actually going for "clever".
Good "eye", and good-day;
sincerely,
doc.