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crypticbard
crypticbard
May 11, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

murahachibu 村八分

countless crab-claw bays
dot the infinite coastline
roadless travel diverging
belatedly emerging
edge to edge, nights or days
its waters’ crystal shine
makes a difference always

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The term 村八分 (murahachibu) refers to ostracism in a traditional Japanese village context. Historically, it was a form of social punishment where someone who violated communal norms or disrupted harmony would be excluded from participating in eight out of ten communal activities.

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 months ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The imagery in your poem is vivid and evocative, painting a picture of a remote and pristine coastline. The use of "countless crab-claw bays" and "roadless travel diverging" creates a sense of mystery and exploration. The repetition of "edge to edge, nights or days" adds a rhythmic quality to the poem. However, the meaning behind the title "murahachibu 村八分" is not clear within the context of the poem. Providing more clarity or explanation could enhance the reader's understanding and connection to the overall theme. Additionally, consider exploring further depth or layers of meaning to enrich the reader's experience.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Rula

2 months ago

Hello Cryptic Bard

I have to say that I have really enjoyed the imagery in this poem. You painted the scene really beautifully.
But, (and this happens only a few times) I had to agree with the AI re the relationship between the title and the poem's body. I would very much appreciate a hint.
Saying that, still I have enjoyed the poem immensely.
Thank you for sharing.

Geezer

Geezer

2 months ago

I must confess...

I do not see the relevance of the title to the post at all.
Sorry, unless you are referring to the obvious difference of what caused you to write about crab-claw bays and what it was supposed to be about... ~ Geez.
.