Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

weirdelf
weirdelf
Oct 29, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Mushaira of poets

On Having Learned The Word Mushaira In A Discussion About Collective Nouns And Advised By My Attorney To Expand And Tell The Truth.

There will be a solace of poets
at my mushaira on Saturday.
All the pretty poets
will dance and sing and play

There will be a deviance of drugs
at my mushaira on Saturday.
All the pretty poets hug,
they'll stagger, fall and pray

for a pinhead of angels
to take them all away
to a variance of heavens
and then to their dismay

a host of heaven's finest
with a wild array of warrants
will put them under arrest
for linguistic crimes abhorrent

they’ll plead a puerility of cases
with a simulchritude of similes,
and a flatulence of feelings on their faces
putting the angels ill at ease

all the pretty poets
and the angels
become bored
feathers start to fly...

no pretty poet has ever been
too eloquent to brawl
and several notable angels
have taken the big fall

So rather than extinguish each other
in lightning bolts and iambic insults
they drop the weapons of words and swords,
caress each others prides and wounds

And having little left to say
they have each other in every other way
the feathers fly and groans are wild
the sex... well no complaints are filed

The evening comes and parting's sweet,
if sore, much love was made upon the floor,
The drugs are gone and bed seems nice,
till someone brings a gram of ice.

And so it's off again, we're safe
they'll indulge beyond God's grace,
and he can truly harsh a buzz, the bum,
I spike his sacrificial wine
with LSD, particularly fine.

He didn't join the carnal spree,
just composed some verses, rather twee,
I said "they're nice
your should write more,
you may not end up a massive bore".

He took it all in humour fine,
tossed a lepers finger in my wine
and so we ended, quite sublime.

We're poets
we know it,
often blow it,
and reap as we sow it.

(Live at https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/on-having-learned-the-word-mushaira-in-a…)

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Respects to Mr. Zimmerman.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

lonlyhrtsclub13

lonlyhrtsclub13

7 years 8 months ago

And I missed the party

Damn living in another country. I miss all the fun.

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

Thank you.

It was fun. Inspired and written during a chat at Neopoet Facebook.

Marvel Godwyn

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 8 months ago

I would have given anything

I would have given anything to be in this Mushaira. But distance is somewhat a big barrier. A skillfully composed poem and thanks for sharing,Weildelf .

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

Thank you,

and your consideration is deeply appreciated.
[giggles maniacally]

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

7 years 8 months ago

I didn't know a mushaira

from a poetry slam. Another very interesting event in this world I never heard of. Sorry that the poets who join you pray for a pinhead of angels who will usher them to paradise only to find out they are convicted of bad writing...
In the last stanza..I cannot know in Australia but that kinda nursery rhyme thing "He's a poet but he don't know it" is the kinda thing you would expect from a guy wearing an "I'm with stupid" t shirt .

I guess in the end ...although I think the poem is funny in the way it puts down poets, I'm not sure why.

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

You're taking it too seriously man,

or not seriously enough. Poets are pretty, they're partying hedonists who sometimes have bad trips (there are no atheists on bad trips), they have sex with angel critics! What's wrong with that?

I think someone got up on the wrong side of bed this morning.

That last stanza, see my last words re Mr Zimmerman? Remember "Another Side of Bob Dylan", track 5 "I Shall Be Free No. 10"?-
"Now they asked me to read a poem
At the sorority sisters’ home
I got knocked down and my head was swimmin’
I wound up with the Dean of Women
Yippee! I’m a poet, and I know it
Hope I don’t blow it"

jane210660

jane210660

7 years 8 months ago

Just a quick note from me

Mark and Kelsey I think the whole point of using that line is to create a bit of satire. It was very much done on purpose. Which in an inverted way, makes it a very strong line/couple of lines.
It's that old British humour thing - the Aussies have a very similar brand of it.
Jx

swamp-witch

swamp-witch

7 years 8 months ago

Jess,

This is really fun. There was something about it that I couldn't put my finger on, but I think Eumolpus has got spot on. I think the last two stanzas are weak compared to the rest. I know this one was written on whim after an informal chat, but consider getting back to the rhyme and line length of the previous stanzas to strengthen the last two.

Some ideas to get your gears turning for the second to last stanza:

all the pretty poets and the angels
become bored, feathers start to fly
the faith of the poets becomes baneful
as their writing is supernaturally decried

Glad to see you writing,
Kelsey

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

Yeah, your right, I kinda ran out of steam

and didn't think the work of sufficient merit to pursue, but between Roscoe's comment and your feedback I find myself motivated again. I really appreciate your suggestion and will use it in part, although my thinking was more towards the poets and angels joining in a joyous cosmic fuck. Suck eggs the Metaphysical Poets.
Thank you.

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

7 years 8 months ago

i guess

But it is autumn. Brings out the grim in us. Thanks for getting me to lighten up..
I did not remember those lines from Dylan, who was occasionally quite acerbic. Good lines.

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

cool

check out the album, it really is well titled. "Motopsycho Nightmare" is a hoot. It's also got the first recording of "It Ain't Me Babe".

Oh, and it's spring here upover.

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

Thanks Jane and Kelsey for suggestions

I took it that Mark was just having an autumn day but Kelsey is right in that it does fizzle out. I think I'll work on rewriting the second last verse to make it more... um... explicit, keep
"they’re poets
they know it
hope they don’t blow it"
and maybe improve on
"with a heftiness of hopes."

Sparrow

Sparrow

7 years 8 months ago

Jess

A grand write must have nudged a few as some of the comments reminded me of times when we had battles.
Meaningful critique is good and I always fail to understand why some of the critique is directed at the poet.
What the hell, a poet that writes fiction cannot possibly be downed for his or her write.
I have no more toys in my pram, so does this mean I have to be nice all the time.
Take care young Jess great to walk with you again,
Yours, Ian..

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

By crikey I must be growing a thick skin!

I didn't notice any critique directed at me.

The only one that pissed me off was Lovedly's, who refused to comment on the poem itself because the big baby is in a snit because I didn't review his/her last poem. What a jerk! I have given that petulant piece of shit miles of critique over the years and he/she has given nothing but dipsy whoopsy onanistic ramblings and 10 year old girl's jumping up and down pleas to view his/her own work.

I haven't been very patient, have often been rude and abusive but I always given solid critique. Well fuck Lovedly, s/he gets nothing from me any more. (I hope s/he reads this, nothing you wanker, fuck off)

Thanks my brother, 'A grand write', that's nice. Yes I enjoyed writing it and you know I love a bit of humour and wordplay.

C

cathy mccormick

5 years 5 months ago

your comments are interesting

your comments are interesting considering the current work shop. i think a lot of the rhythm in your poem could be tightened up. glad i was not there and i will write lol

jane210660

jane210660

7 years 8 months ago

It's not annoyed Lovedly

It's just irritated by your self absorbed meaningless drivel.
If you can' t communicate in a way people can understand and relate to, then don't be surprised when they stop communicating.

S

scribbler

7 years 8 months ago

Hi cousin It.

Fifth stanza is really really good. I Knew you were a closet rhymer lol. A wonderful example of use of rhyme in free verse as well as an entertaining read. I could almost picture myself being led off by the meter police from a party of jabbering poets for the crime of bad scansion lol.......stan

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 8 months ago

thanks mate,

I'm not a closet rhymer, I use all the tools of poetry when and where it feels right.

I think you can see it needs some work at the end.

swamp-witch

swamp-witch

7 years 7 months ago

Jess,

Love the additions. It's not too much!

Especially love:

no pretty poet has ever been
too eloquent to brawl
and several notable angels
have taken the big fall

So rather than extinguish each other
in lightning bolts and iambic insults
they drop the weapons of words and swords,
caress each others prides and wounds

and the new ending too.

Kelsey

PS: Did you mean "ingulge"? I like it as a word creation, whether intended or not. It's the perfect combination of indulge and gorge, in my humble opinion.

Edna Sweetlove

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 5 months ago

Well, well, well!

This indeed caused a little storm in a teacup a couple of years back! Or would that be a moshpit in a mushaira?

I enjoyed this piece - although I felt it went on a little too long, so maybe a little judicious editing towards the end? One thing: I LOVED the reference to the leper's finger. I often feel that leprosy is much under-rated as a subject for versification. In fact, I am so inspired I shall see if I can post a few little louche leprous lines - watch out, The Stream, here comes leprosy!
.