Music

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores memory, loss, and the lingering presence of music as metaphor. The opening lines establish a melancholic tone, with “Music” personified as something that can “stop singing,” suggesting absence or an ending. The question “Do we forget the sounds?” introduces uncertainty and nostalgia, while the image of “peeling paint that knows our lies” provides a tactile sense of decay and hidden truths. The phrase “Songs with tears in their eyes” is effective in blending the auditory with the emotional.

The second stanza uses concrete imagery—“Old boots nestled in the doorway / Dust settled in their seams”—to evoke a sense of abandonment and time passing. The line “Maybe the day will arrive to shake it away / Most definitely not today” introduces resignation and a reluctance to move on, which is consistent with the poem’s overall mood.

The third stanza shifts to a more direct address, referencing “three days past the rain you sent for me.” The use of “zephyr through my heart” is lyrical, though the transition to “Where the hell do I start?” is jarring; the abruptness may be intentional, but it disrupts the established tone. The metaphor of pride as “a heavy stone no-one sees you pack” is strong, though the syntax could be clarified for smoother reading.

The fourth stanza returns to observation, with the speaker “by the window watching the daylight losing ground.” The phrase “Humbled by each mocking sound” is evocative, though it is unclear what the “mocking sound” refers to. The raven speaking to the trees, and receiving no answer, reinforces the themes of isolation and unanswered longing.

The final stanza attempts closure, with the field and wall serving as metaphors for memory and endurance. The line “I will always carry sad words devowed” is ambiguous; “devowed” is not a standard word, and it is unclear if this is a deliberate neologism or a typographical error. The closing line, “Your song will eternally accompany me aloud,” brings the poem full circle, returning to the motif of music as an enduring presence.

Overall, the poem is thematically cohesive, with strong imagery and a consistent mood. Attention to diction, particularly in moments where tone shifts abruptly or where word choice is unclear, could strengthen the piece. Consider clarifying ambiguous phrases and ensuring that invented words or unusual syntax serve the poem’s intent. The interplay between sound, memory, and loss is compelling and could be deepened with further revision.

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try not to use some of these words in an effort to make the rhyme, [even though it is labeled free verse]. It makes the reader distracted, in trying to figure out what you actually mean. When you have the reader stop at the odd way that a word is used, it doesn't matter if it was used that way around five hundred years ago, and correctly used for that time period. 
devowed, was last used in this way around 1650. Our memories "are abound"? I think that I would much rather say:

When the Music has stopped singing
Our memories may be found

or something of the sort.

I can see this doing well, as straight-up rhyme.

I got a very good vision of the boots nestled in the doorway, and wish that you had explored that in a little more detail or managed to tack those lines onto lines and images before or after. Some good lines and images, but you need to connect them better. ~ Geezer.