My Becoming

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem explores personal growth and self-reflection through a series of extended metaphors—lighting a candle, building and unstacking bricks, pruning branches. The structure is free verse, with short stanzas that create a contemplative pace and allow space for the reader to absorb each transformation.

The opening image of lighting a candle for “versions of me I’ve outgrown” effectively establishes a ritualistic, almost reverential tone. The poem then moves through a progression: from fear and self-limitation (“softened to fit into quiet rooms,” “built walls brick by brick”) to gratitude and active change (“I raise a glass,” “I begin to unstack those bricks”). The metaphors of bricks and pruning are concrete and accessible, grounding the abstract theme of self-development.

The transition from past to present is clear, and the poem’s logic is consistent: the speaker acknowledges and thanks her former self, then describes the process of making space for growth. The line “each one etched with a lesson” adds nuance, suggesting that past defenses were not merely obstacles, but also sources of learning.

The poem’s language is direct and avoids excessive ornamentation, which suits the subject matter. However, some lines (“I clean my shears / and set them aside”) might benefit from further specificity or imagery to deepen the emotional impact. The closing lines—anticipating the need for future tending—offer a sense of ongoing process rather than resolution, which aligns with the poem’s theme of continual becoming.

Consider whether the metaphors could be developed further or made more distinct from one another; both the brick wall and the pruning shears serve as images of transformation, but their relationship could be clarified or contrasted more explicitly. Additionally, the poem leans heavily on abstraction (“hope,” “lesson,” “becoming”); integrating more sensory detail or concrete imagery could strengthen the reader’s connection to the speaker’s experience.

Overall, the poem demonstrates a clear arc of self-acceptance and growth, using accessible metaphors and a reflective tone. Further development of imagery and specificity could enhance its emotional resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Hello, Blue Skies!

I feel the power and enthusiasm here!  How wonderful!

I believe I'd remove the word "out" from, "but out of hope" for a sharper, more proclaimed feeling.  A direct declaration - "but of hope - "

Thank you!

L

Very touching poem!

L