Candlewitch

Mar 04, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

Emotions In Colors

(Read More...)

my colors by: eddy styx

Emotions In Colors

yellow:
color of the bright moon
casting shadows
where I hide my intentions.

grey:
still too much light
for my tastes, just not right,
much time spent in waiting.

silver:
laughter turned to a scream,
no way out from this
she wishes it all a dream.

red:
are her dress and hair
her fate is evident
in her unholy despair

black:
like a new moon I rise,
to hunt and kill
as she slowly dies!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: thanks Gee!

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

The title is good...

your language use equally so. Shivers to these lines: "Silver, laughter turned to a scream"

. " in shadows in which hide I intentions."
[Actually, I would change this line to: where I hide my intentions].
Ahhhh, good old eddy; up to his tricks I see. Nice job! ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

thanks Geez,

I appreciate you catching my mistake. thanks for the suggestion. good luck on the contest.

ever, eddy

Tracey Underwood

3 years 3 months ago

Great!

I love the flow of this poem. And I love how you accosted colors with emotions. This is really good. Thanks for sharing.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

hello Tracey,

thanks for the read and the response!

ever, eddy

lovedly

3 years 3 months ago

very great

may scan mine drafted

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

yes, lovedly,

good idea!

ever, eddy

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Exquisite!

Beautiful composition. I love the way you presented your poetic devices in the poem.

Apt and very interesting verse!

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

thank you Jack!

you should write one, too, and enter the contest!

ever, eddy styx

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Sure,

I will definitely compose.

One

3 years 3 months ago

Sis,

I couldn't wait to get my teeth into an Eddy piece.

I am sitting here satisfied in the delicious sinister approach this poem takes.

Your words put us in the shoes of Eddy, we feel, smell, taste, hear & see how he does...it is not a pleasant feeling but somehow I feel at home there.

regards

One

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear One,

that is because you have such great versatility and in abundance! you have extraordinary imagination to slip you into any situation and run with it!!!

ever, eddy

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

Changes...

I like the changes you made, but I think that the last line of the first stanza,
needs to have the full word [hidden] written out. Since that part of the poem is not in rhyme,
it doesn't change the meaning or the meter and it sounds better. Hugs, Geez.
.