Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
My Conversation With A Famous Poet.
When I started the journey
It seemed like an endless journey
When I took an endless path
I carved out ways and minds,
The way was deep and the weather too was sharp
When I was flying like a soaring kite
On a pregnant cloud,
I shouted a song in exile
Calling the marauding beasts to a fight
When it seemed like it all ended,
In my sober
I was called to a dance
I cried and folded my arms
As I hung my harp on the willow tree
I cried to fight to live
But I was always uneasy
When they talked of dry bones,
Alone fight is a long war
Endless and soundless like the wave of the oceans
When people heard it, their hearts fainted
They thought it was a rhyme.
This is the endless journey
Here we stand, Soyinka.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
2 years 10 months ago
An excellent...
piece! Only a couple of things I'd like to point out. One, you used the wrong past tense of hang; it should be [hung], two, what is a [wallow tree]? Do you mean willow tree? Thirdly, I am not familiar with the poet you speak of, Soyinka; so, I looked him up. Your language is good, the theme is excellent and it flowed logically from beginning to end. Nice job, very well done! ~ Geezer .
.
Mr joghe
2 years 10 months ago
Thank you, critic!
Thank you, critic!