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Aug 17, 2011
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MY DANCING THOUGHTS
The Mediterranean pales at the beauty
Of the exquisite pleasure of seeing
Your undeniable features
Eyes, lips, and skin
Your dark hair shining
Like the moon reflecting
Upon the sea, which takes away
The breathe of those who see
The song that is your voice
Stops the heart
With flights of fancy
Creating pictures in a fevered mind
You are the dream of many
But few can hold
For you are a rare gem
That can’t be bought or sold
I gaze at you from a distance
And even that captures my very soul
I am lost with words that dance
In my head trying to explain.
This is just a dream
Made of thoughts that can never be
For I am just a humble slave
Of the beauty which I see.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I wrote this for a friend who is in love, but does not know how to approach the woman. I gave him this after he explained how he felt, then I wished him luck.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 11 months ago
Dear Eddie,
Although the whole poem is elloquently beautiful, these lines stood out:
I gaze at you from a distance
And even that captures my very soul
I am lost with words that dance
In my head trying to explain.
This is just a dream
Made of thoughts that can never be
For I am just a humble slave
Of the beauty which I see.
All I can say, is that you are one hell of a good friend!
always, Cat
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 10 months ago
Cat
he just told me how he felt (Jeri) and I wrote it down. Wow as I am writing you this something hit me.
I'm Cerrino the Burgerrac, is that crazy LMFAO!
thanks Cat your a friend also.
Eddie
scribbler
13 years 11 months ago
Hi Eddie
I appreciate you writing a poem about me but line 5 should be "your bare pate shining" as I'm bald roflmao..Whoever did inspire this is a lucky woman............stan
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 10 months ago
Stan
Old buddy how did you know it was about you. LOL
I am glad you enjoyed it
Eddie
loved
13 years 11 months ago
simply euphoric
Your dark hair shining
Like the moon reflecting
Upon the sea
which takes away
The breath....
of those many
who do you see
in the seasee
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 10 months ago
loved
i like that line too.
Thanks for the read pal of mine.
Eddie
raj
13 years 10 months ago
Eddie ...
you have a way with words to express the romance nicely expressed in this write...
amongst all good lines..i loved the end lines...
For I am just a humble slave
Of the beauty which I see.
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 10 months ago
raj,
I thank you for stopping by and readong.
glad you liked it.
Eddie