My Day in the Sun

I swam throughout her ocean,
had to fight her undertow;

her waves became my friend,
more than anyone could know.

Familiar with her coastline,
I've walked along her beach;

I tried to possess her heart, and mind;
both were out of reach.

Her air was so inviting,
I was dancing in her wind;

we grew, and were relating,
and, the thrill was if we'd sinned!

I so, enjoyed her ocean,
but, things just weren't meant to be;

that's the end of my education,
I've only memories.....of her sea.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Comments

docmaverick

14 years 4 months ago

I know...

..of course, you're right.....but, to never wander THAT beach, again...well, it's soooo difficult, right now. But, this was my excercise in, "closure".....
thanx,
doc.

docmaverick

14 years 4 months ago

Of course you're right.

Just can't trust that "undertow".

docmaverick

14 years 4 months ago

Thanx, Amalzamani...

..I changed the one line "back", but I didn't understand your comment about using, "mere".
sincerely,
doc.

docmaverick

14 years 4 months ago

Thanx, Bee....

...and how ironic! Your example was exactly how I had it, then I changed it. I think I'll change it, back.
later,
doc.